cozy mystery, spy novel, serial mystery fiction

The Serial is Done, Stopleak is Now a Book

Yep. Stopleak is now only available in book form.

Thanks for sticking it out all those weeks. If you missed a couple or want to share the fun with a friend, please check out the book page on my site here.

The next Operation Quickline story, Deceptive Appearances, will debut in this space on Friday, June 2. Sid and Lisa get sent to her hometown of South Lake Tahoe to try and find an enemy operative. Only they end up in the middle of a murder and a shipment of illegal drugs that hit both of them far too close to home.




How to cook, cooking for beginners, cooking without recipes

Making Lentil Chili

A friend of mine recently hosted a large number of her relatives at her place thanks to a death in the family. So to help her out, I sent over some lentil chili. It’s a dish I make fairly often. It’s hearty, healthy (for the most part) and it tastes really good. Plus I often make it vegan for those folks of that persuasion.

Apparently, my friend’s relatives really loved it and she asked me to get the recipe for them. Um. Oops.

That is the downside to not cooking with recipes. Sometimes, folks want to know how you made something and it can be tough explaining it. That’s assuming I remember. The other downside to not cooking with recipes.

Oddly enough, my lentil chili did begin with another recipe, in this case, a copycat recipe for canned chili, such as Dennison’s or Hormel. I’d had a yen for some and when the copycat recipe came pretty durned close, I analyzed it. According to the person who posted that recipe, what made the chile taste the most like the canned stuff was Fritos corn chips. I looked at the ingredients on the corn chip bag and there were only three: corn meal, salt, and safflower oil. So I tried the recipe again, adding corn meal. Not even close. Turns out, it was the salt that made the copycat work. There’s a boatload of salt in Fritos, which makes you wonder just how much there is in canned chili.

So I started wondering how I could make a similar version that would be healthier and come up with the idea of adding mushrooms (for meatiness) and collard greens (for the health benefits) to lentils, which cook quickly and are pretty good protein-wise. I added mostly the same spices and came up with my lentil chili.

It’s a pretty straightforward process. Chop half an onion, then get your collards and mushrooms chopped. Instead of the collards, you can use any leafy green you like (or don’t like – the good thing about this chili is that it hides the nasty flavor of kale).

Add some oil to a saucepan, and get the onions cooking until translucent. About this time, you add the chopped greens and mushrooms. Then you want to add one to two tablespoons of a chili powder you like, about a teaspoon of garlic powder, another half to full tablespoon of ground cumin, plenty of salt, and some pepper.


Get it all stirred up, then add the lentils. I’ll sometimes add a pat of butter or two if it’s only going to be me and the Beloved Spouse eating it. Butter makes it not vegan, so leave it out if you’re feeding any. Give the lentils a good stir, then add a couple cups or so of water to the pot and bring it to a boil. Don’t worry about it not being thick enough at this stage. The lentils will thicken the chili as they cook, which takes about fifteen to twenty minutes at a soft boil. I’m about to add the second part of what makes this taste so good.

Yep. That’s corn meal. Once the lentils are almost cooked, I start sprinkling in corn meal by the handfuls.

You can sort of see it above. The idea is to keep stirring as you do so that the corn meal doesn’t lump up, but thickens the chili up evenly. Not thick enough, stir in more corn meal. Too thick? Add a little bit of water and stir. Give it a taste before you serve it and see if it needs any extra spice or salt. And that’s pretty much it.

cozy mystery, spy novel, serial mystery fiction

Chapter Twelve

July 28, 1983


My church’s youth group holds a week-long retreat at a Christian camp on Catalina Island every summer. Most of the leadership comes from the single adult bible study that did the retreat I was on when Sid came to get me back in May. Father John decided I should be a camp leader too. Sid “just happened” to take off for the Bahamas this week, and doesn’t need me around.

It’s Thursday evening. The sun is slowly sliding behind the hill. The ocean laps peacefully on the rock where I sit, writing my journal. Maybe I shouldn’t have brought it with me. The fact that it’s ciphered won’t reveal any secrets, but it could make me look a little strange in that planned way that once made me very suspicious of Sid. That was before I knew about Quickline.

But perspective is why I wrote down the first one, and it’s why I’m here finishing this bit up. I’ve been working pretty steadily on it since we got home almost a month ago.

We stayed on a week yet in Paris to recover. Sid’s eyes were still a sick shade of green, and the scar on my forehead was a sight. And the cigarette burn got infected. But no one questioned us. Mae just raised cain with me for not calling her and wondered where I’d been. I told her we’d been in and out and all over the place, and never really answered her questions. I didn’t even tell her about Catalina. Like Sid says, we can’t call attention to our traveling.

The week we got back, Sid picked up a package from A12 and A45. It was a package of study tapes of French, Italian, and German. We had a good laugh over it. After all, being strictly domestic, the odds of us ever needing to speak those languages is pretty remote.

This morning I gave a talk on sex and the problem of temptation, another one of Father John’s ideas. When I told Sid I was giving it, he laughed and said I should use him as a bad example. I did, too. The kids loved it, but I don’t think they really believed me about him until lunch.

I sat at the scarfer’s table: Father John, Frank, three high school football players, and me. We all have phenomenal appetites and are on fourth and fifth servings before the rest of the camp has finished firsts. [It’s not a pretty sight, Lisa dear, and you are the worst of them – SEH] However, today we lingered over dessert. There weren’t seconds available.

“Is your boss really that bad?” asked Todd Wilkins, one of the football players.

“Like, you’ve got to be exaggerating,” said Jeff Childs.

“Not a bit,” I said. “If anything, I toned it down some.”

“She’s not kidding,” added Frank. “Every time I’ve taken her home from something, he’s got a different woman there. Which reminds me.” He got up. “I’ve got mail duty today.”

He picked up the bag of letters and called out names on the dining hall microphone. I didn’t get anything, which I expected.

“That’s it for today,” Frank announced. “Except for one postcard.”

“Read it!” someone yelled.

“Oh, I’m going to,” Frank snickered. “And this will be uncensored.”

Something about the way he said that caught my attention. I looked around. The card was blue, maybe an ocean.

“This hot little number is addressed to our own Lisa J. Wycherly.”

Cat calls erupted from the kids.

“He didn’t,” I groaned, though why I was surprised, I don’t know. “He didn’t.”

“It goes like this: My dearest ice maiden…” Frank was without mercy.

Some more cat calls.

“He did!” I sank my burning face into my hands.

“No offense, but glad you’re not here. Getting a great tan and lots of great dot, dot, dot.” The kids roared. “How are the horny juveniles?” Roundabout booing. “Still trying hard to understand. Please, don’t eat too much.” Cheers, which were accepted by the football players. “And stay away from the junk food.”

“Too late!” someone hollered to a big laugh. I’m told my candy bar habit is the stuff legends are made of.

“Your favorite reprobate.” More laughter and cheers. Frank held up his hand. “P.S. Don’t forget your sunscreen.”

The kids laughed really hard and cheered. I did not get slapped on the back because that would have hurt my sunburn.

“Now, Lisa,” teased Frank. “You wouldn’t happen to know who that was from?”

“He’s going to regret this, and so are you, Frank,” I called. Silently, I wished sand in Sid’s equipment. [So that’s how it happened – SEH]

Later, Father John caught me alone, sitting with my journal on my rock.

“Well?” he asked.


“You seem to be doing a lot of thinking.”

“I guess I am.”

“About Sid?”

“Yeah.” I looked at Father. “Things got pretty wild on that trip we took.”

“Would it be fair to guess that scar on your forehead did not come from a fall on a coffee table?”

“Not quite.” I lifted my hair. “That was a cigarette burn. The whites of Sid’s eyes had just barely cleared up before he left. He got winged. I got beaten up twice.” I looked out over the ocean. “The funny thing is, the violence doesn’t seem to bug me. I mean I don’t like it, but I’m not scared of it anymore. And I’m not scared of Sid anymore. We tried making love. He asked me, and I couldn’t say no or yes. It didn’t work. But it really took the pressure off. I mean he still wants to.”

“And do you?”

“Yeah,” I said softly. “I really want to. And I really don’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’d have to be married to him for it to work, and more than anything, I don’t want to be married. It’s like I’m finally finding out who I am and what I can do. This trip completely tested all my limits. I don’t want to submerge that in a man, and that’s what’s expected in a marriage. I like being independent and able to make my own decisions without consulting someone else.” I chuckled.

“What about Sid?”

“What about him?”

“Someday you might decide that you want to be part of his life in a way that does not submerge who either of you are, but does call for a deep, loving commitment from both of you.”

I smiled. “I might, but he can’t. I don’t think he ever will.”

“I guess at the moment, it’s much safer for you that way. I’ll talk to you later.”

I fished Sid’s postcard out of my cover up pocket, then pulled out my pen and started writing. Sid says there’s a kind of safety in keeping me mad at him.

I keep getting funny looks from the kids as they walk past my rock out here. Lots of people sit out here alone, and quite a few write, so that’s not it. I guess I’m the only one who comes out here and whistles “All Day, All Night, Marianne.”

Essays, general essay

My Latest Novel Came Out…

Actually, it came out two weeks or so ago. I was going to do an ad campaign. A special post with a big cover reveal (ooh-aah). I was going to be all over social media.

I was going to be a good little author and do the whole Blatant Self Promotion Thing. I was going to be confident but pleasant, letting folks know without being annoying about it. I did do a couple author events, which fortunately cropped up right around release time. But otherwise, I dropped the ball and let it roll into the street and under a bus.

I know – the wags say that if you’re not confident in your work, no one’s going to be for you. And everytime someone does, I realize just how utterly screwed I am.

It’s not that I’m not proud of The Last Witnesses. It’s the third in my mystery series set in the 1920s and featuring Freddie Little and Kathy Briscow. Freddie’s sister, Honoria, finds a body in her apartment and plunges all three of them into a conspiracy so unbelievable it almost gets them killed.

I’m actually very pleased with how it turned out. There’s enough action. The story is interesting. The characters came to life really nicely. The history is sound, well, except for the parts I played with for the sake of the story. And the conspiracy is based on a real conspiracy theory going around at the time.

But, see, that’s bragging. And the last thing on earth that I want to be is a braggart. Seriously, this is one of those childhood shame-based lessons foisted on me by the rotten little monsters I went to school with. Which was plenty long ago, and certainly long enough ago that I should be over it. Except that the only difference between grown-ups and kids is how we express those same attitudes. Because, trust me, the attitudes don’t change as we get older.

Worse yet, I’ve run across some pretty aggressive self-promoters and I really, really don’t want to be like them. They are so annoying.

So I’m out here trying to find a balance. If I still don’t have it right here, would you mind doing me a favor, please? Forgive me and buy my book anyway?

cozy mystery, spy novel, serial mystery fiction

Chapter Eleven

June 14 – 18, 1983


We had one tense day, killing time in Manhattan until our plane left for Paris. We slept as late as we could and still be on the streets before we were charged an extra day at the hotel. Sid can be pretty extravagant, but even he’s not that crazy. We checked our luggage at Grand Central again, then found a guided bus tour that would finish before we needed to be at the airport.

It’s a good thing we slept on the plane. It landed in Paris the next morning at six a.m. Sid slid his hand into mine as we took off and didn’t really let go until we landed. Well, I did have to go to the bathroom once, but I took his hand back as soon as I returned to my seat. We waited a long time at the baggage claim, then customs took forever, but only because of the long lines. The guards didn’t even ask us to open our luggage.

Then Sid made what we discovered was the ultimate mistake in Paris. He hired a cab to take us into the city from Orly airport. The highway wasn’t too bad until we hit the city and joined everyone else trying to get in to work. We crawled, then spent, I swear, thirty minutes stopped waiting for some truck that was unloading merchandise in the middle of the narrow street. The cab driver told us in his broken English that sort of delay was not unusual. Of course, the fare was adding up as we waited.

We’d gotten francs at Kennedy (another mistake, we found out later). When we finally got to our hotel off the Place de la Concorde, Sid found he had to shell out a good chunk of our cash to pay for the cab.

“How much was that American?” I asked nervously.

“Enough to make even me wince,” he said. “I’ve been told France is expensive. At least the dollar’s been doing better lately.”

The hotel had a nice room available right away, with a private bath.

“Boy, I hear these aren’t too easily gotten here,” I said, admiring the bathroom.

“This is a three-star hotel, that’s why,” explained Sid. “They aren’t hard to get, you just pay for them.”

“What’s this?”

It was a funny little toilet bowl without a tank or seat. In fact, where a toilet seat reaches your knees, the top of this thing only came mid-shin on me, and it had two little nozzles that aimed up.

Sid chuckled. “That is a bidet.”

“Oh. I’ve heard of those.” I looked at him. “What are they for?”

“You use them instead of toilet paper.”

“That sounds kind of messy.” I went back into the room and sat on the bed. “Have you ever been to Europe before?”

“Besides ‘Nam, this is only time I’ve ever left the country.” Sid prowled.

“Gee, you know so much about it.”

He chuckled. “I have a couple friends back home who have bidets, and while you had your nose in that woman’s magazine, I read the guidebook.”

“I was going to read it on the plane, but I fell asleep.” I gazed out the window to the cars rushing around the fountains in the circle below. “What are the odds we’ll get some sightseeing in?”

“Pretty good. The last thing we’re going to want to do is give our quarry any reason to believe we’re not who we say we are.”

I picked up a brochure off the bureau. “Hey, this is in English. And German, and Italian, even Japanese. They’ve got all the bases covered.”

“What does it say?”

“It’s bus tours.”

“That might be just the ticket to orient ourselves.”

We had to move quickly, but we caught a general city tour by the skin of our teeth and spent most of the day on it. Our tour guide gave us a lot of pointers on how to get around, too.

“But it doesn’t give us a lot of information on how we’re going to get the Beldons,” said Sid as we relaxed at the sidewalk cafe near our hotel.

“Where did you say that office was, the Rue St. Denis?”


“Would they even go there?” I looked up from my map of the Metro. “I mean, if our theory’s right that they’re the ones responsible for the leak, they’d have to know they’re under suspicion and figure that someone is watching them.”

“Possibly. Then again, they were cleared without problem to come here, and the note that they were down came in after they’d left, so it’s also possible they don’t realize that they’ve been tracked this far.”

“When are we going to stake it out?”

Sid checked his pocket watch. We’d changed for dinner already only to find there weren’t any restaurants open.

“Well, we’re not going to get dinner before seven thirty,” he said. “Why don’t we head on over that way? There’s enough tourist stuff in the near vicinity that I think we can get away with ambling through.”

Sid swears it was just luck. I say it was God, Himself. We turned onto the Rue St. Denis several blocks away from where the office was located. Walking toward the office, Sid happened to look up a side street and saw what could only be Harry and Carol Beldon heading away from us. She was average height, with fluffy, streaked hair, and a nice motherly look about her. He looked like your basic, slightly paunchy American businessman.

Sid and I slid around the corner. I grabbed the transmitters and receivers from my purse. Sid stopped me.

“We may as well stay together,” he said. “It’s too obvious we’re Americans. If we split up, they’ll know we’re tailing them.”

Fortunately, they went straight to a bistro that was around the next corner and down a block.

“Make contact?” I asked, a little nervous.


We took a chance and went around the block, entering the bistro from the other way. The Beldons were still there, conferring over a small table. Sid and I threaded our way through the tables. As we passed theirs, Sid stopped.

“You guys are Americans,” he said jovially.

Carol’s eyes narrowed for a second, then the mask fell, transforming her into the warm, cozy matron. Harry gave us both the once over and likewise adopted a “glad to meetcha” demeanor.

“Well, howdy,” said Harry, standing up. “Why don’t you join us?”

“Why not?” said Sid, pulling over a couple chairs. “I can’t tell you how good it is to hear some good old American English.”

“How long have you been in Paris?” asked Carol.

Sid chuckled. “Not long, but it’s a real freaky feeling when people don’t sound like you’re used to.”

“I’m Harry Beldon,” he said, offering his hand. “This is my wife, Carol.”

“Ed and Janet Donaldson,” said Sid. “We’re here on vacation. My wife twisted my arm. She’s always wanted to come.”

“Ed,” I said quietly. Sid had slipped into his salesman persona, and it was a little unnerving to see the quiet dignified man I knew acting like he had several used cars to sell.

“So you folks here on vacation, too?” Sid asked.

“Business,” said Harry. “I’ve got a women’s wear company in the States. If it’s going to sell, it’s got to come from here.”

“No kidding,” said Sid. “You in the business, too, Carol?”

“Oh, no,” she said. “I just come along for the ride. What business are you in, Ed?”

“Office supplies.” Sid reached into his back pocket and his wallet. “Golden State Office Supplies. Janet and I own the company. Let me get you a card.” Sid thumbed through the wallet. “Damn. I’m out. Honey, you got any cards in your purse?”

“No,” I said. “I left them at home. We are on vacation.”

Sid laughed. “You are so right, sweetie. So, where are you guys from?”

“Chicago,” said Harry. “We also have a home and outlet store in Santa Fe. Where do you folks hail from?”

“Los Angeles area,” replied Sid. “Orange County, actually. You know where Disneyland is?”

The conversation went on. Small talk and Sid did most of it. Neither Carol nor Harry were particularly quiet, but I got the awkward feeling that they had more than a casual interest in us. They invited us to dinner, and we accepted. We went to a lovely place on the Champs Elysee, a few blocks down from the L’Arc de Triomphe. I had lamb. Sid had fish. Both of us drank water. The Beldons split a bottle of red wine.

Sid and Harry were really great pals by the end of dinner. As we left the restaurant, Harry had his arm around Sid’s shoulders as they laughed and carried on about who was worse: the Cubs or the Angels. They shook hands and we agreed to meet again the next day at the Place St. Germain, a common meeting spot. Sid slid his arm around my shoulders and hailed a cab.

It was just barely getting dark even though it was close to ten at night. The city showed no signs of closing either.

“Speak English?” asked Sid, still the salesman.

“Yes,” answered the driver.

“Eiffel Tower. You know?”

“Yes. Eiffel Tower.” The accent wasn’t French.

“Hey, an Arab,” chuckled Sid as we got in. “We might as well be in New York.” We got settled in. “Well, Janet, what do you think of the Beldons? Great folks, huh?”

“I suppose. They seem nice.” I was puzzled.

The Beldons weren’t anywhere around, and we’d been with them the whole time, so they hadn’t had a chance to call for a tail, and it didn’t look like we had one. Sid rummaged around in my purse.

“Yep, top of the line. I sure can pick them, can’t I? This may work out better than I thought. You got any of those antacids in here?”

“I think so. If not, they’re back at the hotel.”

“How do you find anything in here?” Sid pulled out what looked like a beeper.

It was actually a signal receiving device that, when turned on, would flash if there was a listening device in operation within five hundred feet. We could also use it to track a bug. Sid showed me the glowing red light with a disgusted look on his face. He dropped it back in the purse and left it there until we got to the tower. We walked around, heading toward the river. Sid made loud fun of the French all the way while I tried to isolate the bug unobtrusively.

It didn’t seem to be in my purse, which seemed strange. That would have been the first place I would have dropped something. I teased Sid by tickling him. Well, I tried tickling him. He’s not ticklish in the least. But I did find the bug in the upper breast pocket of his suit jacket.

At the top of a bridge, Sid stopped.

“Hey, look at all those gawkers on those tour boats,” he chortled. He pulled the silk color from his pocket. Sure enough, in the folds was what looked like a button off a suit jacket. I looked at it more closely. Tiny mesh covered the holes. Sid knocked it from my hand. “Honey, get a picture of me waving my hanky at the boats.”

“I don’t think so,” I said.

I doubt the Beldons heard my reply. Sid just happened to walk on the bug at that moment. I surreptitiously showed Sid the bug finder. No light.

“We’re safe for the moment,” he said with an invisible sigh of relief. “I don’t think we have a tail, but let’s not go back to the hotel until we’re sure.”

There was no tail.

“But why?” I asked.

“When did they have a chance to call one?” replied Sid as we got on the Metro train. “They were probably counting on us not noticing the bug and telling a cab driver where to go.”

“And on us not having the means to find a bug, and not suspecting we’d have one. That’s just too much to swallow. I’ve got a really bad feeling they recognized us from somewhere.”

“If they were watching the drops at all, they could have, which is probably why I was bugged in the first place. There couldn’t have been any planning involved.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have gotten rid of it.”

Sid shrugged. “I hope I accounted for it.”

“Yeah, but wouldn’t you be a little bit suspicious?”

“I’d be a lot suspicious, especially as paranoid as those two must be by now.” Sid thought. “I move we search their office tonight, and let’s just hope they decide to move it legitimately to keep their butts covered.”

If wishes were horses, we should have had a herd of them. And Sid wonders why I believe. Paris nightlife being what it was, we had to wait until three a.m. to leave the hotel. That wouldn’t leave us much time before sunrise at four thirty. Sid had us put on light colored shirts with dark jeans and black zip front sweatshirts.

“I don’t get it,” I asked as we laid out our equipment. “Don’t we want to be all in black so we’re not seen?”

“That’s what the sweatshirts are for,” he answered, more preoccupied with the lockpicks and flashlights. “But if we have to make a run for it, we can ditch the sweatshirts and bluff our way through because nobody will be looking for burglars wearing white. Damn. We’ve got to hide the masks and the gloves, and still find someplace to carry a gun or two.”

It was tight, but we managed. I vowed to do something about the problem the first chance I had with a sewing machine, preferably my own back in California.

Around the corner from the Rue St. Denis, we faded into the shadows and put on our sweatshirts, gloves and the all-over ski masks. We slid around the buildings to the office. Sid ran a beam from his flashlight all along the door jamb, looking for alarm wires, then picked the lock.

We weren’t worried about the police. They were the last people the Beldons would call. But we didn’t want the Beldons alerted either.

The office was at the top of a narrow flight of stairs. Sid got us in within seconds and shut the door. I went for the file cabinets while he checked the desk and shelves. Orange light from the street gave the room an odd glow.

I found the file in the bottom drawer of the end cabinet. It contained a host of surveillance photos, but I saw a picture of Amanda Whitefoot and knew I had something. Sid and I heard the footsteps on the stairs at the same time.

I shoved the file drawer shut and followed Sid under the desk. I crossed myself. Sid lifted his pant leg and drew his gun. I got my twenty-two, also.

“Somebody’s been in here,” grumbled Harry’s voice as they entered.

“You’d just better hope they didn’t find that file,” said Carol, as she pushed past him.

Awkwardly, I jammed the file into my sweatshirt. Sid nodded at me and slid away from the desk on the side where the Beldons weren’t. I started after, but in the next second, the office door burst open and bright light circled the Beldons.

There were two figures silhouetted in the doorway, one very short, one rather tall, both lean, and both had .45 (at least) automatics trained on the Beldons.

“Don’t you Americans take this overtime business a bit too far?” said the larger figure, a male, in a smooth educated British voice. His face had a rather horsey profile.

Sid nodded at me, and I followed him silently to the wall away from the light.

“Since when does it make any difference to you what time we come here?” said Carol.

“Let’s just kill them and be done with it,” said the short figure. She was also educated and British.

Harry looked over at Sid and me and laughed and pointed. Before the two Brits could swing the light our way, Sid charged with me on his heels. The Beldons charged also. The Beldons broke first from the ensuing tangle, with Sid and me close behind. On the sidewalk, the Beldons went one way, Sid and I went the other. I glanced back to see the short figure running after us.

We had a good lead on our tail and bettered it, charging around the first corner and down the street to a wide avenue lined with trees. Sid and I ducked into an alcove between two sidewalk cafes. The short Brit came running past.

We stripped masks, gloves, and sweatshirts in seconds.

“Let’s neck,” Sid whispered, stashing everything behind us.

I ended up with my back to the street and gasped as Sid undid my shirt. I didn’t have time to complain. The Brit was on her way back. Sid exposed my shoulder as I covered his face with my hands. He let out soft little moans as we kissed, his tongue everywhere but beyond my teeth. I still wasn’t up to that.

Heavy footsteps and breathing announced the return of the large Brit. He met his partner not far from where we stood.

“Lost them, damn it,” he complained. “How’d you make out?”

“Not any better. I checked the Metro. The train was just leaving.”

He chuckled. “Have you tried asking them?”

She laughed also. “I doubt they saw anything. We’re for it, you know. They won’t be going back to that office now that they know we’re watching it.”

“Can’t be helped. Let’s be off.”

Sid peeked around my hair as the two disappeared into the night.

“We should be safe now,” he whispered, pulling my shirt back into place and buttoning it. “Sorry about that. I wanted it to look good.”

“I’ll live.”

We gathered our belongings and the file and headed back to the hotel, checking for tails every step of the way.

I barely remember going to bed, I was so tired. It was full daylight when I awoke. Still heavy with sleep, I rolled over. Sid lay on his side, fully awake and watching me. I stared back for a minute.

“What are you looking at?” I asked finally.

“What does it look like?” Sid rolled away, and grabbing his robe, got up. [Let’s hear it for denial – SEH] He squinted at his pocket watch. “It’s already nine thirty.”

I flopped onto my back. “Do we have to run today?”

There was a park, the Jardin de Tuilleries, just off the same circle as the hotel, with a straight, broad unpaved walkway down the middle which was just perfect as a running course.

“Much as I hate giving in to your sloth, we’re not,” said Sid. “It would make us too conspicuous as Americans. Do you have any compelling desire to shower first?”

“Uh-uh.” I yawned and closed my eyes.

Sid was out, fully dressed in designer jeans and sport shirt, within twenty minutes, which isn’t bad for someone as fussy about his appearance as he is. I dragged myself in, and eventually put on a full-skirted strapless sundress and petticoat with eyelet trim that peeked out from under the skirt.

It was already a habit. I didn’t even feel the straps anymore. But I made sure my twenty-two automatic handgun was in its holster on the top of my thigh, as high up as possible.

As I left the bathroom, Sid had the pictures from the file spread out over the dresser top.

“You were right,” he said, holding one up for me. “They recognized us from the drops.”

It was pretty grainy, having been shot with a light magnifier and all, but you could see Sid leaning over Blaine Winters’ body in that alley in New Orleans, with me facing the wall.

“Terrific,” I said.

“They caught me making the first drop in Chicago,” said Sid. He picked up the picture to hand it to me, then stopped. “What’s this? Get the micro magnifier, will you please?”

I dug the viewer out of my purse. It looked like one of those handheld doohickeys for viewing slides and basically served the same purpose except the magnification power was considerably stronger. Sid scraped something off the photo. I handed him the magnifier and looked at the pictures.

“It looks like they’ve got shots of their entire line. There’s even the guy from Washington, D.C. in here.”

“Yep.” Sid switched the magnifier on. “Well, I’ll be damned. Looks like we’ve stumbled onto the Beldons’ record keeping system.”


Sid handed me the magnifier. “That’s all the information on the Chicago killing, right down to the return of the deposit money found in the killer’s apartment. It’s the same accounting code we use for our expenses.”

“Except theirs are for killing people.” I thought. “If they recognized us, then the Beldons had to figure we would be watching them and their office.”

“Yeah, and they probably went back at the same time we did for the same reason.”

“What if the file they came back for is this file?”

Sid nodded. “Given the evidence in here, it would be worth the risks to get it.”

“And they never got a chance to look for it.”

“You’re right. They’ll have to go back for it one way or another.”

“Could they have already?”

“They have no way of knowing that we, or anyone else, have called off the search, and they were caught within seconds of entering.” Sid thoughtfully gathered the pictures together. “The trick now will be in capturing them. I don’t want to meet at the Place St. Germain. It’ll be too easy for them to hit us.”

I grinned. “That’s it. We draw an attack on us in a public place, then scream for the police.”

Sid snorted. “That’s the last thing we should do. Local law enforcement just makes things more complicated…” He stopped. “And it’s the last damned thing the Beldons will expect. It seems to me that there is a hotel across the street from their office. We’ll get a room and monitor them from there, and let them catch us monitoring them. That should do it, especially if we let them know we have their file.”

“And with the hotel room, we’re not set up for an obvious sniper attack.”

“Bingo. We’ll leave the file in this hotel’s safe, too. It’ll be just that much more secure.”

We emptied a couple suitcases and only packed our guns and a couple changes of underwear. We wore our transmitters. At the second hotel, Sid got a single room overlooking the street and the Beldons’ office. We sat in the window watching, or rather, Sid did most of it. He thought he spotted the Beldons once, but couldn’t be sure.

I read for a little while, then Sid and I made up a list of article ideas I could query on when we got home. After a while, Sid got progressively more antsy and distant. He made his second shave around five and took his time doing it.

At seven thirty, he broke away from the window.

“Why don’t you watch?”

“Sure.” I took his place.

He paced restlessly. “Listen, I hope you don’t mind, but I’d like to go out for an hour or two.”

“Let me guess,” I said softly. “You’re horny.”

“Hey, it’s been four days. I think I’ve been doing pretty good.”

“Pretty well.” I sighed. “I was thinking the same thing, but I didn’t want to bring it up.”

“I’m glad.” He came over to me. “I don’t know why, but last night when we were necking, it really turned me on. It wasn’t the open shirt. It was probably the fear element. But it was all I could think about this morning. And there you are in that lovely little sundress.”

I turned my gaze out of the window. His hands gently cupped my shoulders, and his nose cleared my hair away so his lips could softly grasp my ear. His kisses, sweet and gentle, slipped down my neck. I leaned into it, even as the fear and guilt crept in.

“I can’t tell you to get the hell out and get yourself laid,” I said. “And I just don’t feel right about taking care of you myself.”

“No.” He pulled back a little. “I can’t dump the decisions I have to make on you.” He took a deep breath. “I’ve got to do something. I’m obsessing on this. I can’t think straight.”

“It’s an awful risk.”

“We have no reason to believe the Beldons know we’re here, and I can’t help but think we’re better off if I clear my head.” His finger turned my chin to face him. He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “It’s only for an hour or so. I’ll leave my receiver on. You can tap in a message if you see anything.”

I didn’t say anything as he left. Not ten minutes later, I saw him leave the hotel with a blonde woman. They went up the street and turned the corner. Tears filled my eyes.

A minute later, the door burst open. Two huge and ugly men swarmed inside with guns drawn. I reached for my model thirteen on the dresser, then quickly drew back.

“The hands in air,” growled one with a very strong French accent.

Slowly, I raised mine. The one held me at gunpoint while the other tore the room apart. There was nothing to find. I’d even left my purse back at the other hotel. Angry, the two eventually pulled me from the room, holding me close to hide the gun in the small of my back.

They took me down the street to a warehouse. I stumbled and tried nudging my twenty-two more between my legs. Once inside, I was greeted with a fist to my ear. The receiver went flying. One of my captors held me as his partner pounded my stomach. I tried to relax, but it hurt and I couldn’t breathe. The pounding stopped, but before I could get my breath, my scalp flamed as the man grabbed my hair and yanked my head close to his face.

“You have pictures,” he demanded, his breath as sour and foul as anything I’d ever pulled out of a toilet, and I’ve pulled plenty in my time.

I gasped.


“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I sobbed.

He backhanded me three times, or maybe it was more.

“Where are pictures?” he demanded.

“What pictures? I don’t have my camera.”

I got another cuff in the ear. My head spun and rang, and by that point, I was so disoriented, I really didn’t know anything about pictures. The man holding me growled in French.

His partner replied, lighting a cigarette.

“Tell me,” he said, pulling my hair again. “Where are the pictures, or this makes the fat marks on your pretty face.”

I whimpered. The cigarette came closer.

“Tell me.”

I could feel the heat of the glowing end on my cheek. Ignoring the pain in my scalp, I jerked my head away. The cigarette pressed into my neck, just below my ear. The pain was incredible. I screamed and screamed, and even being backhanded however many times couldn’t get me to stop.

My hands were jerked behind me and bound very tight. The one who spoke English patted me down fairly thoroughly but missed the gun completely. I’m guessing he couldn’t feel the straps through my nice full skirt and petticoat, and the gun was safely tucked between my legs as high as it would go. [There are more concise ways of describing its location, albeit cruder – SEH]

I was dragged up four or more flights of stairs and tossed into a small room. At first, all I could do was reel with the pain. My entire body ached, and my hair tickled the burn, irritating it and making it hurt worse. Slowly, my wits settled. If I was alive, it was only because someone believed I knew where the pictures we’d stolen from the Beldons were.

I didn’t know how much time I had. Listening would do no good because nobody was speaking in English. Sid’s instructions from my training days slowly filtered in. The first thing would be to get my hands free.

They were bound with bright orange strapping tape. I couldn’t reach the little piece of spring steel hidden in my hair, but I could get to my shoes. Groaning, I sat myself up and wiggled my feet around. I slid my thumbnail between the insole and top of the heel on my right shoe. Like magic, it popped open. It hurt like hell, but I twisted so I could see what I was doing.

I wriggled the small serrated blade out of the heel and went to work on the tape. It only took a minute or so to cut it open, and another minute to get braced so I could tear it off. It took my wrist hairs with it, leaving bright red welts across my wrists. But I was free.

I rescued my gun first. Peashooter or not, I wasn’t going to make that mistake again. I put my heel back together, then slowly got up. The room had two windows, one overlooking a tiny alley festooned with clothes drying on lines, and the other facing the street. Through it, I could see the hotel facing the Beldons’ office and the open window where Sid’s and my room was. So that was how they knew we were there. There was also a skylight, but no way to reach it. Climbing down would be far too slow.

I listened at the door. There was silence on the other side. I tried the handle. It was locked.

Sid swears by spring steel. I have decided it is handy stuff. I pulled the piece from my hair and went to work on the lock. It took me a few minutes, but I popped it open.

The hallway was empty. I silently shut the door behind me and slipped across to the stairs. I could hear the thud, thud of feet climbing, and a second later, my captors spotted me. The pea shooter did a good job on their guns. The men dropped the weapons and grabbed their hands.

They also got mad. I popped the English speaking one in the shoulder. He fell backward onto his partner, and they tumbled down the stairs. I grabbed the two automatics they’d dropped. There wasn’t any other way to go, so I ran after them. They landed in the middle of a flight. One reached up for me and I kicked him in the face. I crawled over the banister and jumped to the next flight.

I hit the ground floor running. The door to the warehouse was barred with a huge metal arm. I could hear shouting above me. Summoning whatever little strength I had left, I slid under the arm and shoved. It scraped on the catch but went over. I danced out of the way, then leaned on the door. Feet pounded behind me. I tripped over the threshold but scrambled out.

I ran as fast as I had ever run, cursing and thanking Sid for dragging me out of bed every morning. I found a newspaper in the gutter, swiped it up and wrapped the three guns in it. I dodged cars, then ran the long way back to the hotel on the Place de la Concorde, checking for tails and finding none.

I had been tapping messages to Sid since I broke free. With no receiver, I had no way of knowing if he’d gotten them. When I got to our room, I checked the transmitter. It had died in the rough treatment. I hoped Sid would find the destruction in the other room and come back to the first hotel. He wasn’t there. I checked the time: eleven fifteen.

I bandaged myself as best I could, then took a hot bath. Sid didn’t come. I slept restlessly, fully dressed. No Sid. Dawn broke and the sun rose slowly into the sky, filling the room with light. Sid didn’t come.

There was no doubt in my mind that Sid was in trouble. Just how much, was the question. The best I could figure, he had gone back to the other room and had been caught by the Beldons or whoever else had figured we were there.

Maybe it was a silly chance, but that’s where I went. I had dressed carefully in jeans and jacket with my armored running shoes. In my shoulder holster was one of the stolen automatics. I put the other in my jacket pocket. The twenty-two was strapped to my shin, and I had various other pieces of hardware stashed all over. In my other jacket pocket were the bug finder and a small roll of duct tape. I also wore my blonde wig and phony glasses. The wig periodically jabbed my burn, but I wasn’t up to taking chances.

Frankly, I was terrified, and felt very lost and alone in a huge city I didn’t know and where I couldn’t speak the language. I dreaded going back to that second hotel, but there was nothing else to do. I checked out the lobby first, then found the stairs and went up that way. The room was shut. I unlocked it. Everything was as it had been the day before. I even found my model thirteen still on the dresser. I removed the automatic in my holster and replaced it with the revolver. I jammed the automatic in the back of my pants.

I checked out the window. I couldn’t see who, but there was definitely movement in the Beldons’ office. I dashed downstairs. Slipping out of the hotel, I looked up. Whoever was still in there. I slid in the building’s door and into the shadows of the tiny foyer.

A woman left the office and came down the stairs. I couldn’t quite see her in the shadows. She wasn’t Carol Beldon, but I wasn’t going to assume that she was on our side. As she reached the door, I put the muzzle of the model thirteen in her neck.

“Move and you die,” I told her as coldly as I could manage.

She froze.

“Hands up and turn slowly.”

She did. I almost dropped the gun.

“Dragon,” I gasped. She looked at me, cool but unsure. “I’m Little Red, Division 53Q, code 6-A. Come on, you saw me in Washington. I’m wearing a wig.”

“You also have a gun in my face,” she pointed out.

“I’m sorry.” I lowered the gun but hung on just in case.

The Dragon headed out the door with me following.

“What are you doing here?” I gasped. “We thought you’d gotten it.”

“No. I had to intercept Yellow Ribbon and Yellow Knife before they left.” She went across the street.

“The Beldons you mean?”

She smiled. “Very good. How did you find that?”

“We searched Amanda Whitefoot’s place before we left the Canyon. It was in her phone book. We recognized their number.”

The Dragon led me into the hotel and went straight to the elevator.

“We got background on them from the Company when we got our passports,” I continued.

“Excellent. I was hoping you’d come here.” The elevator opened and we got on. “Where’s Big Red?”

I swallowed. “Missing.” I tried not to sniff. “He left the room here, and I got captured and got away, but he never returned to the room where we’re staying or the room here. Something’s wrong, and I can’t get through on my transmitter because it died.”

“And it seems our friends have slipped through our fingers again. They know we’re watching the office. They’ve got a second hiding place, but we haven’t been able to find it.”

“It’s a warehouse down the street. That’s where they took me, and you can see this hotel, and their office just fine from there.”

We got off the elevator on the fourth floor.

“That makes sense.” The Dragon got her room key out and unlocked the door.

She let me in first. I kept a good grip on the model thirteen, which was a good thing because in the room was a largish man with a horsey profile and a small almost fluffy woman – the Brits from the night before. I braced and aimed.

“What in heaven’s name is going on here?” demanded the woman.

“Enough,” the Dragon told me. “They’re with us.”

I lowered the gun, still wary. “They crashed in on the Beldons last night in their office.”

“That was you in the mask?” asked the man.

“We were there to capture them,” said the woman.

“You were there to kill them,” I said.

The Dragon glared at the couple. “We have the assurances. They won’t be back.” She waited as the couple basically ignored her. She looked at me. “Little Red, this is A12 and A45. They’re CID, and have an interest in this case.”

A12 was the woman and A45 her partner.

“We’ve been watching that office since we heard the Yellows were on their way,” said A12, looking me over shrewdly. “I can’t imagine why they chose last night to return. They had to have been here a few days.”

I squirmed. “Big Red and I made contact with them the day before yesterday. We found them in the neighborhood. They bugged us, and when we got rid of it, they must have figured that we were the ones watching them and that they’d better get to the office and get their records.”

“That can’t be it,” said A45. “We searched that office. There weren’t any records.”

“There was a file of surveillance photos on their line,” I said.

“There’s nothing unusual about that,” said the Dragon.

“We found microdots on the photos with the payoffs to the hired assassins listed.” I bit my lip.

“They are clever, aren’t they?” said A12 with a lady-like chortle.

“The question is, where are they now?” said the Dragon, going over to a table spread with more photographs. “We can try staking out that warehouse, but I doubt that will do any good.”

“I suppose we’ll have to continue identifying and interrogating their acquaintances,” said A45.

I went over to the table.

“That’s rather awkward security-wise,” said A12.

I picked up a series of photos of Harry Beldon and a blonde woman that looked vaguely familiar. They were in various attitudes on the streets of Paris, including some rather passionate ones.

“Have you identified her?” I asked the Dragon.

She looked bored. “She’s a hooker. Owns a stable not far from here.”

“Oh no.” My mouth went dry as my heart stopped. I looked at the back of a single shot of the madam. “Is this her address?”

“Yes.” The Dragon picked up another photo. “This fellow bothers me.”

“That’s where he is.” I tossed the hooker photos onto the table and headed for the door.

“Who?” asked the Dragon. “And where are you going?”

“Big Red,” I said, leaving. “He’s got to be at the brothel. I’m going after him.”

The Dragon hurried after me, followed by A12 and A45.

“You don’t know that,” the Dragon said.

I pounded the elevator button. “The last time I saw him, he was with that woman.”

“Sounds like it might be under control then,” said A12.

“It’s been too long,” I groaned. “Come on, you stupid machine.” I ran for the stairs, then stopped. “It’s… He was horny. He wasn’t thinking straight. He’s in trouble and I’ve got to get him out of there.”

I flew down the stairs with the others after me. They nearly ran me over as I stopped short on the final landing. Downstairs, Carol Beldon handed a note to the desk clerk.

“My, isn’t she the brazen one,” said A12.

“It’s rather encouraging, actually,” said A45. “She must have a hostage, and if it’s your Big Red, he must still be alive.”

“That’s our room number,” I said as the clerk filed the note in a pigeon hole. I looked over at the Dragon. “Why don’t you follow her?” I pointed to A45, then A12. “You can keep an eye out in the lobby, and you can keep the desk clerk occupied so I can get a look at that note without anyone knowing it’s been seen.”

“Of all the ruddy-” began A12.

“Marian, do it,” said the Dragon as she took off.

A12 and A45 ambled down the stairs together. While A12 addressed the clerk in rapid-fire French, I also ambled down. A12 directed the clerk to a room in the back. As soon as they had disappeared, I scrambled over the desk to the pigeon holes and the note.

“If you want to see your lover again, bring the file to the Place St. Germain at 6:00 tonight.”

Disgusted by the assumption, however valid, I replaced the note, hurried over the counter and to the front door. A45 held me back.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he demanded.

“That was a ransom note for my partner,” I said. “I know where he is and I’m going after him.”

I headed for the sidewalk. A12 came back into the lobby. She joined A45 as he followed me out.

“What on earth?” she asked.

“It was a ransom note,” explained A45. “For her partner.”

“They want us to take the file we have to the Place St. Germain at six o’clock,” I said. “It’s ten forty-five now, but that doesn’t mean they won’t hurt him in the meantime.”

A12 caught my arm. She had quite a grip for such a small woman.

“Why not just wait until six and get them at the Place St. Germain?” she asked.

“It’s a setup,” I said. “Wednesday night, they arranged to meet us there yesterday morning. After that, we found we were bugged. They recognized us from some drops we’d made in the States. That’s why they went to their office that night, to get their file before we got it.”

The Dragon quietly walked up. “Good work, Little Red. She went right to the whorehouse.”

I thought quickly. “We’ve got to find a way in there. If there’s an alley near there, I could climb a wall and get in through the roof.”

A45 smiled. “Actually, there’s a vacant building two doors down. We can get to the roof from there.”

“Great.” I turned to the Dragon. “Why don’t you and A12 go check out the Place St. Germain? If we miss them at the brothel, we can still get them there.”

“What is it about Americans?” asked A12, but she tapped the Dragon on the shoulder and turned. “Let’s be off, Lillian. Are all your people like this?”

I looked at A45. “Come on.”

“Perhaps we should cover ourselves better,” he suggested as we headed down the street.

“Perhaps, but I’m wearing a wig, and it wasn’t in any of the surveillance photos.”

A45 held me back before turning the corner. We slipped into the doorway of an old, old building of gray brick, long gone black with soot. Inside was layered with centuries of dust, it seemed. We got to the roof without a problem, and made our way over it to a building two roofs down. The buildings were literally side by side, so it was no trouble.

A45 stopped at a small dormer window and forced it open. He crawled in first, then helped me into a nice little bedroom, complete with sink and worn towels. We slid out and down a flight of stairs.

Near the next floor, A45 waved me back into the shadow of the stairwell. He went ahead casually and tried to embrace a young woman in drab gray clothes carrying a pile of towels. They went back and forth in French for a couple jovial minutes, then she went on her way and A45 waved me into the hall.

“Well?” I asked. “I don’t understand French.”

“I didn’t get much,” he said. “The girls are angry with Madame because she has locked them out of her room, and there’s a new favorite in there.”

“Which room?” I asked anxiously.

“It’s a customer. Quite a man, too. The girl said they haven’t heard Madame scream like that in quite some time.”

“That’s him,” I sighed, somewhat chagrined. It figured Sid would find a way to get relief before he got captured.

“Dark haired fellow? Rather handsome?”

“Yes. Which room?”

“This way.”

It was down the hall. A45 listened at the door and shook his head. I pulled a piece of spring steel from my hair and went to work on the lock.

It was a fairly small room, and not at all what I expected for a madam. There was a sink, and a huge wardrobe that I’m certain was an antique, and a brass bed with a flowered spread and Sid, barechested, laying face down on it. His hands were bound behind his back.

Fighting tears, I rushed to the bed and carefully turned Sid over. He groaned. His eyes were huge and black and puffy, and what I could see of the whites were blood red. There was dried blood all over his upper lip, and fresh bruises on his arms and chest. He groaned again and sort of squinted.

“Who..?” he asked.

“It’s me,” I said quickly. “Are you alright? I mean how bad are you?”

“Li-” He stopped and swallowed and sighed. “You found me.”

A45 broke open the wardrobe and began a methodical search.

“It’s okay. I’m here now,” I told Sid. I looked at his wrists. “Good lord, there’s this big heavy cable on you.”

Sid nodded. “I heard a church bell ring ten o’clock, and a little after that, they came in and put it on me, as if I was in any shape to do anything.”

“It sounds about the right time,” I said, picking at the heavy coated wire to untie it. “I cut through some tape, must have been an hour or two before that.”

“They got you?”

“Not for long. Here it comes.” I pulled the cable away, then popped open the sole on my left running shoe. “You’ve got duct tape on you, too.”

“Goody.” He grunted as I helped him sit up.

I slashed it. “Listen, I’m going to have to pull this off now. It’s going to hurt.”

Sid snorted. “That’s like telling the Ancient Mariner he’s walking under a ladder.”

I yanked and Sid swallowed his yelp. I put the knife back in my shoe and closed it. Groaning, Sid slowly moved his arms around front. I rubbed his shoulders. Sid groaned some more.

I stopped. “Am I hurting you?”

“Yeah, but it’s what I need. Got to get the circulation going again.”

“I believe I’ve found your things,” said A45 suddenly.

Sid stiffened and tried to make him out.

“He’s CID,” I explained, still rubbing. “A45. He’s helping the Dragon.”

“The Dragon?” asked Sid.

“She’s here.”

A45 brought over Sid’s running shoes and shirt. Sid groaned as he lifted and rotated his arms, then leaned into my hands as I massaged his shoulders.

“Think you can walk?” I asked softly.

“Do I have a choice?” he returned. I slid around and looked at him. He gazed softly back. “I’ll make it.”

Sniffing, I bent forward and carefully kissed his lips. He returned it generously, carefully wrapping his arms around me.

“Hep,” hissed A45 suddenly.

He stood with his ear next to the door. On the other side, we could hear Harry Beldon yelling in French and a young woman crying. It came closer.

Sid put his hands behind his back and laid down on them. I grabbed his shirt and shoes and dove under the bed. Harry burst into the room and went straight for Sid, swearing like a Marine. He reached for Sid’s arm and got a good solid kick in the chest instead.

Harry recovered quickly, and I rolled out from under the bed right into his legs as he started for Sid again. Harry fell onto the bed. Sid dodged, then jumped on him. Harry threw him. I charged Harry from the side while Sid recovered, and the two of us caught Harry in a squeeze play. I swung my elbow up and into Harry’s nose. His head jerked back and the blood flowed freely. Sid shoved his elbow into Harry’s stomach, then pulled Harry forward onto the floor. Together, Sid and I got Harry’s hands behind his back.

I got the duct tape from my jacket, and ripped off a piece big enough to cover Harry’s mouth, then handed the roll to Sid. Sid whipped the roll around Harry’s wrists, then held his head still so I could tape his mouth.

Gasping, Sid and I got up. I groaned and doubled over.

“You alright?” Sid asked his hand on my shoulder.

“I got knocked around yesterday, too,” I whispered. “I guess I’m not entirely recovered.”

Sid nodded. He looked at A45. “Can we count on CID to help us take care of him?”

“There’s a simpler way to deal with it,” said A45.

Taking a switchblade from his pocket, he walked over to Harry, popped the blade open, lifted Harry’s head, and I didn’t see the rest.

The room started spinning and I slipped into the hall. Swearing, Sid joined me.

“You might consider that he won’t be haunting you now,” said A45 calmly, handing Sid the shoes and shirt I’d left behind.

“Let’s be thankful for small favors,” grumbled Sid. He eased into his shirt. “How do we get out of here?”

“His partner should still be in the building,” said A45. “I recommend we find her.”

“I’m not big on your tactics, buddy,” growled Sid, getting into his shoes.

A45 shrugged. “Nonetheless, unless you are more seriously injured than you appear, it would not be a good idea to forgo the opportunity.”

I handed Sid the automatic I had in my jacket pocket.

“Why don’t we keep going through the house?” I suggested. “At the rate things are going, she’ll find us soon enough.”

Sid checked the clip and took off the safety. “Sounds good. Let’s just be careful.”

“Do you speak French?” A45 asked him as we moved down the hall.

“I only kiss,” said Sid.

A45 shook his head. “Why don’t you two have any language skills?”

“It’s a fluke we’re here,” said Sid, getting irritated. “We’re strictly domestic.”

“Seriously? Well. You’ll need to stay with me, then.”

“Sh,” I hissed.  I nodded at a nearby stairwell.

We faded into a doorway, but the steps on the stairs continued up. It was just one of the girls. She paid us no mind and went into one of the rooms.

We found Carol on the bottom floor. The three of us peered out of the stairwell and across a hall at her as she paced alone in a well-appointed living room. A45 raised a small automatic.

I put my hand on it and shook my head. He withdrew. Upstairs, a woman screamed. Carol tensed, listening. The hysteria grew. She marched into the hall, right into three handguns.

“It’s over, my dear,” said A45. “You couldn’t expect to keep it up forever, could you?”

Behind us, more screaming erupted, and the hall filled with young women and a few men in various states of undress. Seeing the guns, one drunk fellow decided we were the source of the trouble and jumped us. In the confusion, I lost my model thirteen. I reached for Carol and got one of the hookers.

The fighting escalated into a full-scale brawl. I elbowed my way through the crowd and suddenly found myself in a headlock. I tried to flip the one who had me and nearly choked myself. She gripped tighter. I stopped struggling.

The fight slowed and stopped as everyone watched Carol drag me to the hall table. Keeping a tight grip on me, she opened the drawer and removed a knife.

She loosened the choke hold, but with the knife against the skin of my neck, I wasn’t too inclined to do much beyond what she wanted. She turned me toward A45 and Sid.

“I want cash,” she told them coldly. “Fifty million in francs and I want a plane ticket to Argentina.”

A45 raised his gun. “My dear, you know the policy. I dislike losing such a good operative, but I will not bargain with a terrorist.”

I can’t say my life flashed before my eyes. Things went down too quickly. Sid slammed into Carol’s side. My forehead stung as I pushed myself away and toward the front door. Carol slammed Sid in the breadbasket, knocking him back, and dashed after me. A45 grabbed her knife hand and forced the blade from her. He tried spinning her back but got kicked where it counts by one of the young women, who wasn’t convinced that we were the good guys.

As I opened the door, Carol grabbed me by the hair. I yelped but plunged forward. The wig gave, and Carol stumbled back. I landed on my face. I started up but got tackled.

I screamed for the police as loud as I could. Passersby stopped and stared at the little drama. Blood dripped into my eyes. I wiped it and struggled forward on the sidewalk. Carol desperately tried to pull me back.

“Police! Gendarmes!” I screamed. “Gendarmes!”

I heard a whistle in the distance. It got closer and I blacked out.

I awoke to darkness.

“You are alright,” said a woman with a French accent. “Calm now.”

“No,” I moaned. I felt something brushing my nose, but couldn’t feel the rest of my face.

“Lie still. You are fine.”

I still struggled.

“She has no head injury. We’ll give her something to make her sleep.”

“No,” I protested. “I don’t want it. I don’t.”

Something pricked my arm. I tried fighting it, but soon I was out.

The light seemed incredibly bright when I awoke. My forehead burned and I felt really nauseous. I didn’t feel like getting up, but my stomach left me no choice. I struggled upright. The Dragon sat down next to me.

“It’s alright,” she said. “You’re safe.”

“Barf,” I got out through gritted teeth.

“Oh, here.”

She pulled a waste can to my face and I tossed it. By the time I was done, Sid was there with a glass of water and a washcloth. He held me as I rinsed out my mouth and wiped up.

“I thought that doctor said she didn’t have a head injury,” Sid growled at the Dragon.

“Are you better?” the Dragon asked me. I nodded. “How does your head feel?”

“Fine. My forehead burns.” I reached up and touched gauze. “My stomach feels better, too. I still feel pretty fuzzy, though.”

“It must be the after-effects of the sedative,” said the Dragon. “The doctor gave you one when you came to and panicked while she was stitching you up.”

“A sedative?” I thought back. “Was it a barbiturate?”


I looked at Sid. “Wasn’t that what you gave me when I panicked that time, and I almost threw up when I woke up?”

“I gave you a barbiturate tablet,” said Sid.

“Don’t ever give me a sedative again,” I said.

Sid gave me a gentle squeeze. If I didn’t notice his puffy eyes right away, it was because he was wearing his glasses.

“Did something happen to your contacts?” I asked.

“Yeah. I lost them almost immediately,” he said. “I went back to our hotel after they patched you together and got our stuff, including that file.”

“Where am I?”

“In a safe house,” said the Dragon. “We thought it might be a little more comfortable, and it’s certainly more discreet.”

It was more comfortable. The bed was soft and covered with lavender silk sheets. The room was decorated with purple and lavender flowers.

“What about Carol Beldon?” I asked. “I mean with Harry upstairs, why didn’t we get arrested?”

“Our friends from CID,” said Sid. “They have some pull, apparently.”

“They do indeed,” said the Dragon. “Carol’s been arrested.”

“But Harry. I mean, he just killed him.”

“He doesn’t like traitors.” The Dragon fidgeted with the lavender flowered quilt I was under. “Those two can be very Medieval. It’s understandable, given who they are.”

I knew better than to ask. The door suddenly swung open and the Medieval pair walked in.

“Well, the extradition papers have been signed,” she announced. “They’re being delivered Air Express. Should be here first thing tomorrow morning. She’ll be shipped out then.”

“We can’t thank you enough,” said the Dragon.

“No thanks needed,” said A45. “If it hadn’t been for your team here, we wouldn’t have gotten them at all.”

“It was getting very nasty at our end,” explained A12. “But Arthur tells me you two work strictly in the States. What division?”

“53Q,” said Sid. “Code 6-A.”

“Couriers?” gasped A12. Even A45 seemed taken aback. “Lillian, do you mean to tell me you sent couriers on a job like this?”

“The division frequently handles counter-espionage investigations,” said the Dragon. “They haven’t been together long, but they’re already one of our best teams. In fact, they’re the ones that made sure you got that care package we sent you last January.”

“Well, if that’s the caliber of people you hire for your couriers, it’s no wonder.” A12 ran an appraising eye over us.

I flushed. A12’s gaze lingered on Sid, however. He turned to me, sliding his hand into mine. The Dragon got up.

“I think it’s time we let you two alone,” she said.

“Quite right,” said A12. “Mustn’t intrude on two lovers.”

“But we’re not,” I said.

“I should be so lucky,” said Sid.

The others laughed and left the room. Sid leaned back on the bed.

“Now where did they get the idea that we’re lovers?” he asked, puzzled.

“You didn’t say anything…”

“No.” He shrugged.

“How are you feeling?” I asked softly.

“Stiff and achy, but much better, thank you.” He reached over and kissed the end of my nose. “We sure make a pretty pair, don’t we?”

I laughed, then looked at the door, feeling rather puzzled. “I wonder why they decided to kill their operatives. You’d think they’d have just run like heck when it got obvious someone was onto them.”

“I don’t think we’ll ever know,” Sid said. “Just like we won’t know who they were waiting for here and why they decided they needed that file. I’m guessing they were trying to raise some cash to disappear. And by the way, the Dragon confirmed it. With the way we cleaned things up here, we can go back to being ourselves.”

“Oh, wonderful. I can see my family again.”

“And we’re not married either.”

“Yeah.” I sighed unexpectedly. “I was kind of getting used to the idea.”

“Me, too.” He looked at me. “It’s probably better that we’re not, but however relieved I am, I’m also a little sorry, too.”

“So am I.” I smiled at him. “We could still get married, I suppose.” I shivered. “I don’t want to.”

“Me, neither.”

We laughed, then he reached over and kissed my mouth.


Merrilee Robson on Housing-Inspired Murder

Merrilee Robson

Please welcome Canadian author Merrilee Robson, whose first book is based on her own experiences with a housing option we don’t have here in the states. Murder is Uncooperative is her first book, unless you count the one she wrote at age 11. I’m impressed about that first one. I asked Merrilee to explain what is cooperative housing.

During university, I moved every six months. From the apartment on a busy street we left when the mouse infestation became unbearable, to a cold and gloomy room in a shared house where someone else regularly ate the food I bought. There was the basement suite that flooded, leaving my roommate and I trying to salvage our belongings while wading knee deep in cold water. Then came the nice one-bedroom I had to leave when the rent was raised, and then finally the apartment that was charming but a firetrap.

It was while living in the last place that our fortunes changed. A government program allowed the tenants in the building to buy, renovate and run the building as a non-profit housing co-op. Young couples settled down and raised families. Refugees and other new immigrants found a stable community that welcomed them. Seniors were able to “age in place” in affordable rental homes where they knew their neighbours. We lived there for 10 years.

In my new mystery, Murder is Uncooperative, all Rebecca wants is a safe, affordable home for her family. That’s not an easy thing to find in an expensive rental market. At first she thinks she’s found the perfect home in a non-profit housing co-op. But then she finds a body.

The book focuses on how desperate people can get trying to find a home for their family. That experience will ring true for readers, whether they understand housing co-ops or not.

But Anne asked me to explain a bit about what a co-op is. In Canada, where Murder is Uncooperative is set, there are over 2,000 co-ops across the country housing a quarter of a million people. But there are housing co-ops in most countries around the world, including in the United States.

The main distinction between a housing cooperative and other forms of home ownership is that in a housing cooperative you don’t directly own real estate. People buy shares or a membership in a housing co-op, which is often a non-profit. In some cases there is government subsidy to help keep costs down for low-income residents. Co‑op housing also offers security. Co‑ops are controlled by their members, who have a vote in decisions about their housing. There is no outside landlord.

And how did housing co-op members react to their homes being portrayed as the scene of a murder. They were thrilled! While housing co-ops can be safe havens for many, there are inevitably tensions among groups of people trying to live together.

“I bet I know who dies and I bet I know why,” people kept telling me. Or they asked, “Is it based on my co-op?”

In any case, housing co-op members seem to like seeing their lives portrayed in the first housing co-op mystery.

You can find Murder is Uncooperative at, Barnes and Noble, Chapters Indigo Books, or Amazon.

cozy mystery, spy novel, serial mystery fiction

Chapter Ten

June 12 – 13, 1983


Sundays, Sid lets me skip running and sleep in. That Sunday I woke up early with a familiar dull ache in my lower abdomen. I tried sleeping through it, but it had to get messy, and wouldn’t you know, Sid had to come back in after his run.

“Awake already?” he asked, with an amused grin. He was wearing a tank top and running shorts instead of a warm up suit, even though it seemed fairly cool out. Then again, that was probably why he wasn’t sweating like a horse.

“Uh, yeah.” I pulled the covers to my chin. “You going to be here long?”

“My appointment’s not ‘til eight, and I wasn’t going to shower until after.”

“I guess if you’re paying, she can’t complain.” I was more interested in my robe, which was at the foot of the bed because I knew I’d stained, and that was more embarrassing than I was ready to handle.

Sid sniffed his armpit. “I’m okay.” He still grabbed a towel and rubbed down.

I wasn’t doing too well. Keeping my covers over me, I sat up and got my robe. It was a bit of a struggle getting it on without sitting on it and making things worse and still not letting Sid see anything, and by that point, he’d figured something was up and was watching. I got my clothes and my carry on.

“Wearing your jeans today?” Sid asked. He rinsed a washcloth out in the sink.

“I can still stay fully armed,” I replied. “I’ll strap my twenty-two to my shin like you do.”

“True.” Sid wrung out the washcloth and turned off the water.

“Don’t!” I yelped as he lifted the covers to my bed.

“I thought that’s what I saw.” He pulled the covers back to reveal the stain. “Well, it’s about time. I was getting ready to put a candle in the window.” He went to work.

“You don’t have to make it any more embarrassing than it is,” I grumbled.

“What’s embarrassing about it?” he asked. “It’s just a natural process.”

“So is going to the bathroom, and I seem to remember you getting pretty grossed out when I unplugged that toilet of yours.”

“That’s…” Sid looked up at me and smiled. “You’ve got a point. However, the one is merely waste.” He pointed at the stain. “This can be considered a celebration of fertility.”

“Since when are you so interested in fertility?”

“Yours I have no problem with.” He chuckled. “You know, you could look at this as evidence that your virginity has been lost. It’s the traditional sign, you know.”

“Hm.” I squeezed my legs together, thinking that I really needed to be going.

Sid looked at me. “Are you still feeling upset about something?”

“I’m not depressed anymore, but my cramps are pretty bad, and don’t lay any psychosomatic BS on me, okay?”

“I wasn’t planning on it. I am sensitive to the needs of women.”

“Then why don’t you have a trash can in your bathroom? That’s why your toilet got plugged, you know.” I started feeling really messy. “Listen, I’ve got to get going. Figures this month would be a gusher.”

“I’ll meet you back here at nine thirty. And stay away from the rim.”

We spent most of the day reading. Around a quarter til three, we found a pay phone and I made the check in call. I swallowed when it wasn’t answered after the first two rings. I let it go a little longer.

“What’s up?” Sid asked, a little nervous himself.

“No answer.” I held on, hoping. “It’s gone at least ten rings.” I hung up. “It’s the second time.”

Sid checked his watch. “It’s early yet. Maybe she’s just not there.”

We called again right at three, then at five after, and ten after. At a quarter after, Sid hung up the phone, his face as pale as a ghost.

“Nothing,” he said softly. He took a deep breath. “We’ve got to get out of here.”

I touched his arm. “Sid-”

Glaring, he laid his finger on my lips. “From this moment on, Sid Hackbirn and Lisa Wycherly are dead. You and I are now Janet and Ed Donaldson.”

“I know.”

He nodded sadly. I managed to hold my tears until we got inside the room. As soon as Sid closed the door, I sank onto my bed and sobbed.

“We’ve got to get packed and out of here now,” said Sid urgently.

“I’m never going to see my family again,” I cried.

“That’s not for certain.” Sighing, Sid sat down next to me and held me. “We’ll find a way to go back to being ourselves. We just can’t count on it is all. I know it’s going to be hard. But you’ll have to cry later. We’ve got to go now.”

“I know.” I tried pulling myself together. “Just give me a couple minutes, will you?”

“Sure.” His lips softly pressed against my hair.

I got a tissue. “I suppose it could be worse. It’s not like we don’t have feelings for each other, but I just don’t want to be married.”

“It’s the last damn thing I want,” Sid grumbled.

“Well, you don’t have to make it out to be something really awful,” I snapped.

“It’s not. Except…” He turned away. “You can’t be a real wife.”

I bit my lip. “Can you be a real husband?’

Sid gave me his only too obvious look. “I don’t think there’s any question about my interest in that issue.”

“I didn’t mean conjugally. There’s a lot more to marriage than just sex.”

Sid picked up his suitcase and set it on his bed.

“I suppose there might be,” he grumbled. “What are you thinking of?”

“A relationship for starters.”

“Didn’t you just imply that we have one?” Frustrated, he jammed some socks into the case. “I mean, I’d like to think the past few weeks would count for something.”

“Of course they do.” I fidgeted with my tissue. “It’s mostly just…”

“Just what?”

“Will I be the only one?” My voice grew small and uncertain.

Sid stepped back. “Oh. That.”


“Believe me, after what we’ve been through and as close as we’ve become, anyone else wouldn’t mean a damn thing.”

“Then why not just be faithful?”

“If you weren’t around for some reason.” Frustrated, Sid went back to packing. “Why is it so important that I be faithful anyway? I’m not expecting it from you, although I have to admit, I find it a little hard to imagine you sleeping around.”

I grimaced. “I couldn’t. Our sex life should be something very special and unique.”

“What makes you think it won’t be?”

“How will I know it is?”

Sid chuckled lecherously. “You’ll know.”

“Really? And how will I know that the words you whisper to me are not whispered to some other woman? That you don’t touch another woman the way you touch me? And what about whenever something starts itching or dripping and I’m wondering if I’ve got some social disease?”

“I’m very careful about that, and if you want, I’ll be extra careful.” Sid came around the bed and held me. “But don’t ever think for a second that what passes between us could be anything like what I do with another woman.”

“Then why aren’t I enough?” My eyes caught his.

He pulled away. “Enough has nothing to do with it. I don’t even know why we’re discussing the possibility. You’re not ready for sex any more than I’m ready to lock myself up if you’re not there. And that, my dear, is precisely why we’ve got to find a way out of this. We’ve wasted too much time already. Come on.”

Sadly, I hoisted my purse onto the bed.

“Wait a minute,” I said suddenly, digging through the huge leather sack. “We still have the drops.”

“What?” Sid came over to me.

I shoved the envelopes in his face. “The drops for Seattle, San Francisco, and San Diego.” I opened one. “I’m going to see what they say. They may give us a clue.”

“We don’t necessarily have the right.”

“Neither of us wants to be married, and I want to see my family again.”

Inside was a second envelope. Sid peered over my shoulder.

“It’s addressed to the floater team,” he said, deciphering the code faster than I could.

I hesitated. “Oh, hell. In for a penny…”

I opened the inner envelope and gave the card inside to Sid. He read it and swore.

“What?” I asked.

“It basically says that upline knows they’re leaking. This was Seattle. What do the others say?”

I ripped away to find exactly the same messages.

“Get finished packing,” ordered Sid, doing the same.

I grabbed my stuff. “What are you thinking?”

“I don’t know yet. It just doesn’t make sense. Obviously, they were looking for whoever was opening stuff.”

“And then setting us up for an attack with that second drop.”

“Which the suspect couldn’t have known was coming, but would probably take advantage of to save his or her own skin.”

“But it’s the suspects that keep getting killed.”

“And these are addressed to the floater team, which is going to be the same for this line, and they knew that second drop was coming in Chicago.”

“But did they in New Orleans? That’s probably why I was followed.”

“But I wasn’t in Chicago, which must mean they were looking for you.”

“And then I had that blonde wig in Yellowstone.”

“Nor was there a second drop.” Sid stopped. “It must be the floater team that’s leaking. That’s the only thing that could account for what’s going on, and they must have gotten a hold of the Dragon somehow.”

“So what do we do?”

“We’re going after that team.”

“We don’t know who they are.”

Sid thought that over. “But we have Amanda Whitefoot’s address. She’s still in the hospital.” He looked at me and smiled. “I think a nice little break-in is in order.” He checked his watch. “We’d better hustle. I’d like to be in and out of there before dark. We’ll need the light to see, and if we make any of our own, it could attract attention out there in the middle of nowhere.”

I thought it was going to be tricky getting onto the reservation, but Sid pulled out an F.B.I. ID and said we were there to question some people about some antiquities that had been stolen from them. We found the house without problem, and it was pretty isolated. Someone else had found it first. The place had been trashed, naturally after every trace of Whitefoot’s double life had been removed.

“It’s not an unusual procedure when one of ours goes down,” explained Sid with a frustrated sigh as he looked around the room.

I picked up an address book and flipped through the pages.

“I doubt you’ll find anything in there,” said Sid.

I stopped flipping. “Care to put some money on that?”

“You got something?” Sid came over.

“Recognize that phone number?”

Sid took the book. “I’ll be damned. Harry and Carol Beldon. I wonder who they are.”

“How about Whitefoot’s floater team?”

“It wouldn’t be out where anyone could find it.”

“Why not? Don’t you have Henry James in your address book? You had him in the Rolodex when I started working for you and had a reasonable excuse for knowing him.” Henry is our floater. Sid ostensibly knows him as a contact for his writing. “Why wouldn’t Whitefoot have a visible reason for knowing her floater?”

“That makes sense, and it’s about all we’ve got.” Sid thought it over. “There’s a CIA base in Manhattan. We’ve got to get our passports through them, anyway. Let’s see what they can do with this.”

We had to fly to Denver first and spent the night there. Neither of us felt up to saying anything. Sid got us a double at the hotel next to the airport, neatly avoiding any discussion about who would sleep on the floor. [Or whether one of us would  – SEH]

We caught an early morning flight out to New York. As usual, Sid boarded the plane, took his contacts out and went to sleep, waking up just long enough to recline his seat after the captain said we could. I read the magazines I’d picked up at the airport in Denver. I didn’t want to think about being married, let alone to Sid. As for never seeing my family again, I found that even harder to face.

We hit some nasty turbulence about two hours into the flight.

“What? Help,” Sid muttered, then snapped awake. He swore and blinked.

“You okay?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he gasped and blinked again. “Just had a bad dream. Why aren’t we landing?”

“We’re not there yet.”

The plane took a sudden dip.

“What the hell..?” Sid gripped the armrest.

“It’s just turbulence.”

Sid snorted. “I was dreaming there’d been an explosion and everything was blown all over.”

“Good timing.” I smiled briefly, then gazed out the window.

Sid leaned back and tried to go to sleep again, but the plane kept bouncing. He squinted and leaned over me towards the window. He always gets an aisle seat, which is fine with me because I prefer a window seat.

“Is that the wing bouncing up and down?” he asked.


“Wonderful.” He settled back into his own seat.

“I’ve been told it’s supposed to do that.”

There was a pause. I looked at the magazine in my lap. About five minutes before it had seemed incredibly inane. One of the headlines promised me “Fabulous Sex Secrets To Keep Your Man.”

“Your cramps feeling any better?” he asked quietly.


“Good.” There was another pause. “What are you thinking about?”

“Things. Trying to get some perspective.”

“On what?”

“On me, you. Our relationship. I don’t know. It’s like what you said about it counting for something. These past three weeks have been pretty intense. The day you came to get me at the retreat, Father John suggested I try to understand you a little better. It’s kind of weird how important that is all of a sudden.”

“If I believed in that nonsense, I’d call the man psychic. He had a little chat with me before I left.”

“What did he say?”

“Not much. He just expressed some concern for you and said that you needed my support.” The plane lurched. I slid my hand into Sid’s. His grip tightened as the plane bounced again. “I told him I was doing what I could to give it to you. Then he suggested I try to understand you better. That’s why he talked me into sticking around through dinner.”

“I wondered about that.”

“Well, I owe that man one, assuming I get a shot at payback. If I’d known what trying to understand you was going to do to me…”

“If I’d known the same thing.” I looked at him warmly. “It hasn’t been easy, and I can’t say I’ve gotten very far, but it’s been worth it, at least to me.”

“To me, too.” Sid smiled. This time his squeeze was gentle.

“I don’t want to stop trying, either.”

“No, we can’t afford to.” He looked away for a moment. “You know, yesterday afternoon, what I said about being married, it really wasn’t you.”

“I know. But I couldn’t help thinking so.”

“I was a little rough about it. In a way, I’m still in shock. I don’t like the idea of leaving my life any more than you do.”

“Are you sure we’ll have to?”

“We’d better assume so.” He looked me over with a warm smile. “I don’t mean to balk so much on the fidelity thing. I really don’t mind the idea of being faithful to you. I’m just not sure I can. I haven’t been faithful to one woman for more than two weeks at a time in my life.”

“Two and a half weeks. Remember Kathy Preving?”

Sid chuckled, then squeezed my hand as the plane jolted.

“That was something altogether different, and I wasn’t faithful. There was that trip to Washington. I figured she’d never know.”

I picked up a second magazine. “Maybe you’d better read this article.”

Sid put the page in his face. “Sex addiction? Oh, come on. Sex is not an addiction.”

“I don’t know. There were some things in there that reminded me an awful lot of you.”

“Well, maybe. But it’s harmless.”

“Not when it starts messing up a relationship. And besides, when you get horny, it distorts your judgment.”

“I couldn’t have survived this long if it distorted it that much.”

“You don’t let yourself get that horny that often.”

“True. But there were times…” His voice trailed off and his grip on my hand changed. I could see him trying to deal with memories that were very painful. “Maybe it was my fault after all.”

“What?” I asked very gently.

“Decisions I made a couple times while I was in Viet Nam. I can’t say they were bad decisions. But I knew, even then, they weren’t the best. I couldn’t think of anything else to do. Three weeks on patrol in those jungles and no women at all. Nothing helped.”

“That’s in the past. There’s nothing you can do about it now.”

“Except learn from it. But, damn it, I can’t change who I am, and I’m not sure I want to.”

“That’s why you can’t change. And I don’t know if you should try, except that…”

“Except that now we’re a married couple, and unless I change, we’re not going to have much of a sex life.”

“We could still catch these Beldon people and everything will go back to normal.”

“More likely we’ll spend six weeks wandering the continent, then settle in somewhere as that nice couple next door.”

“And then I can get myself reassigned.”

“Don’t do that.” His hand didn’t squeeze but tightened in such a way that I knew he wouldn’t let go easily. “Look, if I have to be married, I’d rather it was to you than anyone else.”

We fell silent for a few minutes.

“It’s not like we have an option,” said Sid finally. “But if you can put up with me, then I guess I can find a way.”

“I can put up with you.” I gave his hand a little squeeze.

He reached over and kissed my mouth.

“You think we could get it blessed after we get settled?” I asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Get married again in the Church. Lots of couples do. They get married in a civil ceremony for all sorts of reasons, then years later have a priest bless it. I suppose we could draw up some fake annulment papers for you, just to make it look more legitimate, and I’d have to get another baptismal certificate, but that shouldn’t be too hard.”

Sid sighed. “It sounds time-consuming. Do we get to share connubial bliss before or after?”


“If you want it official, why can’t we just visit a judge?”

“Why? Our business has done it for us. As for the connubial bliss…”

“Is it my imagination, or are you saying that the moral issue is resolved?” Sid chuckled.

“I guess I am. But it’s by no means definite that we’re forever doomed to new identities.”

Sid gazed at our hands. “You’re still not ready.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. After a lifetime of saying no, you can’t just turn around and say yes. We’ll take our time getting you used to the idea.”

“Oh, great.”

“Don’t worry, my darling ice maiden. We’ll take it very slowly.” His free hand reached over and touched my cheek. “I’ve done a fair amount of work as a surrogate partner for women in sex therapy, and I’ve dealt with a lot of trauma. I’ll take very good care of you.”

“Can we wait until we’re sure who we are?”

“Sure.” Sid sighed. “It’s probably just as well. If we don’t, we’ll for sure have to go back to our own lives and you’ll be feeling guilty as hell, and I’ll never get you back in my bed.”

He leaned back in his seat and was out cold within a minute. He didn’t even fully wake up when it came time to straighten his seat for landing. But he didn’t let go of my hand until the plane had stopped at the gate and the seatbelt sign was turned off.

Manhattan, which had seemed like such a great place three and a half weeks before, suddenly grated on my nerves. We checked our bags at Grand Central Station and went straight from there on the subway to the C.I.A. offices, which were on the east side near the U.N. Sid flashed his phony F.B.I. ID, which got our thumbprints taken and then into the back office after a twenty-minute wait.

The man behind the desk was not particularly little in size, but seemed little, and had that prissy, bureaucratic attitude one finds a lot of in government clerks.

“Clearance?” he asked us.

“A-1,” said Sid. “Division 53-Q, code 6-A.”

“Personal code?”

I turned away and hummed so I wouldn’t hear Sid give his. A second later, he tapped me on the shoulder, and started humming, while I softly gave mine to the clerk.

“Code names?” he asked.

“I’m Little Red,” I said. “He’s Big Red.”

Sneering, the clerk double checked our info against a printout.

“Well, your thumbprints match,” he grumbled, then smirked. “I hear you 53-Q guys are having a little trouble with security.”

“We’re working on it,” said Sid. “We need passports.”

“Oh, hell,” said the clerk. “Where do you people get the idea that we can just snap our fingers and produce decent documents? We need descriptive info, we need photos. We’re not the State Department.”

“How long will it take?”

“You can have them by eight thirty. You’d just better hope we can get your pictures done now.”

“While we’re waiting, we need a priority one background check on some names.”

“Why don’t you just ask for the moon while you’re at it?”

Sid leaned over the desk. “We have a priority one need to know. Our offices are down. Last I heard, we’re ultimately working for the same boss. Why not cooperate?”

“What’s the name?”

“Harry and Carol Beldon.”

“Beldon, Harry and Carol. Fine. But I’m telling you, you domestic people with your attitudes can blow it out your ears as far as I’m concerned. We’re out there doing the real work.”

Sid hung onto his temper while I bit my tongue. The clerk had to take our passport photos himself and complained every step of the way.

“I’d like to blow it out his ears,” said Sid as we left the building. [Correction, I wanted to blow it out his ass. What is it with you and swear words? The religion thing I understand, but the rest of it… – SEH]

He hailed a cab, which didn’t stop, all the while complaining about the lousy attitudes of CIA personnel in general, punctuated with an assortment of swear words.

“What do we do now?” I asked as a third cab passed us by.

“Go shopping. We need to look a little more affluent if we’re going to be bumming around Europe for a while.”

“If we’re bumming, why can’t we just go the poor student route?”

“Because, as the saying goes, poverty sucks. I know. I’ve done it.”

“What about alterations?”

“This is New York City and we don’t have a credit limit on our cards. We can get alterations.”

We also found a twenty-four-hour laundry and dry cleaning service and were able to get the clothes we had cleaned. By eight thirty, we each had two suitcases, a carry-on, and I still had my cavernous purse. We also had passports for Ed and Janet Donaldson, some extra equipment, and a file on Harry and Carol Beldon.

“Well?” I asked as we sat down at a coffee shop at Grand Central, our luggage gathered around us.

Sid opened the file. “Let’s see. They’re floaters, alright. We’ve got a note here dated the other day that they were cleared to go to Paris and another date yesterday that their line is officially down and that they’re under suspicion. Their basic cover is as clothing importers. Apparently, Harry has an office in Paris. And looky here, Carol has contacts among the Red Brigade in Italy.”

“Aren’t they communists?”

“Definitely, and there are not a few rumors that there’s Soviet money behind them. It could be the Beldons are just taking advantage of an opportunity and playing double agent.”

“But if they’re the source of the leak, then that’s less likely.”

“Not necessarily. You never really know what side a double agent is on. It looks like that was why they ended up domestic, though. According to this, they were doing some good work in the early sixties, but were suspected of walking the fence and ended up charter members of Quickline.”

“I guess the next step is to go to Paris, then.” I sighed. “Just how are we going to catch up with them?”

“We’ve got the address to Harry Beldon’s office here in the file. We’ll just wait for them to show. We’ve got six weeks.”

“And if they don’t?”

“Mr. and Mrs. Donaldson take up residence in Podunk, Iowa as that nice couple next door.”

I crossed myself. “Dear Jesus, please let them be there.”

We found a travel agent in the station to get our plane tickets. The only two flights to Paris left that night were booked solid. I suggested going stand by and the agent giggled. Sid booked us on a flight that left the next afternoon at five.

As we waited for a cab outside of the station, I talked Sid into staying at the Algonquin. The room was tiny, but we only stayed there long enough to change into going out to dinner clothes. Sid took us down to the Village to a jazz club there, and then we went dancing. It was a lot of fun because Sid is a good dancer, and how many guys dance at all, let alone well? But it was also a little nerve-wracking because we were drilling each other on our new identities the whole time.

“Is there some reason we haven’t gone back to the hotel?” I asked Sid as we held each other through a slow dance.

“We’ve got a long flight tomorrow with a big time change. Tell me about your parents.”

“Curtis and Lynn Mayfield. They live in a condo on Rosewood Court in Diamond Bar. They moved there three years ago. Dad works in computer sales. Mom’s an administrative clerk in the Diamond Bar school system. I’ve got two younger sisters, Jean and Doris, both still in school. Doris goes to Berkeley, Jean is at U.C. Santa Barbara. Tell me about your parents.”

“Jim and Rhonda Donaldson. They live in Walnut Creek at 1531 Seeley Drive and have for fifteen years. Dad owns Donaldson Printers, Mom helps out. I’ve got a brother, Lee, a resident surgeon at County U.S.C. Medical Center in Los Angeles.”

“Why is it you get to be two years younger and I get to be two years older?”

Sid smiled. “It wasn’t my idea, but I’m not complaining.”

“How did we meet?”

“Larry Everett, a venture capitalist, introduced us five years ago when you were fresh out of college and looking for a business partner with strong sales skills. With your unique approach to service oriented office supplies and my smooth talking, the business clicked, and a year later so did we.” Sid gave me a warm look. “You’re good at the shy routine.”

“That’s because I am shy. I don’t mind getting up in front of a group if I have something specific to say, but I really hate trying to talk to strangers at parties and things. It’s really hard for me to get to know people.”

“You got to know me pretty quickly.”

“That was one on one, and I don’t think I really did know you until these past few weeks. You’re not an easy person to get to know.”

Sid snuggled in closer. “Neither are you. You talk, but you don’t really say much about yourself. It’s one of the reasons you’re such a good spy.”

“I am?”

“Mm-hm. Tell me about our place in Sunny Hills.”

I found out why Sid had been stalling about going back to our room when we finally got there. I started to make up the bed on the floor. He stopped me.

“We can’t do that anymore,” he said sternly. “We’re married now, and even if we’re not physically doing anything about it, we can’t let even the least hint drop that things aren’t the way they appear.”

“I suppose. I’ve never shared a bed with a man before.”

“What’s so immoral about just sleeping in the same bed?”

“Well…” I thought. “Nothing, I guess. But there’s the temptation factor.”

Sid yawned. “Not tonight. I am beat.”

He let me have the bathroom first, and was sitting in the room’s one chair reading a newspaper when I got out.

“Which side do you want?” he asked, getting up.

I shrugged. “I never gave it much thought. Which side do you like?”

“That one.” He pointed to the side of the bed closest to the door.

He stopped as I pulled back the covers. “If it will make you feel any better, I sleep by myself.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I’m not going to use you as a human teddy bear. Sleeping tangled up in someone else gives me a crick in the neck.”

“Oh. Okay. Thanks.”

I got in and laid on my back as close to the edge as I dared. Sid took his time in the bathroom. [I was trying to give you a chance to get to sleep before I climbed in – SEH] When he finally came out, he turned out the lights, slid under the covers and true to his word, rolled onto his side away from me. Tired as I was, I still couldn’t sleep.

“Um…” I looked over at Sid and debated poking him. “Um…”

“What?” grunted Sid.

“While we’re trying to get you know who, are you going to… Well, you know…”

“Have sex with other women?”

“I was more wondering about buying it.”

“That’s the most efficient, and let’s face it, discreet way.” Sid rolled onto his back. “I don’t know yet. Let’s see how long I last.”


“Are you really that bugged about it?”

“In some ways. I guess I’m scared, too. We have to be so careful if we want to stay alive, and it just seems to me that when you’re… I don’t know… Involved with a woman, you’re terribly vulnerable.”

“For a very short period of time, I assure you, and usually, she’s equally vulnerable.”

“You know more about it than I do.”

“I’ve been at this business a long time.”


Sid looked over at me and smiled softly. “I’ll be alright. Goodnight.”


I rolled over, telling myself that cricks in the neck are no fun.

Janet Elizabeth Lynn and Will Zeilinger Explain ’50s Slang

Will Zeilinger and Janet Elizabeth Lynn

Co-authors Janet Elizabeth Lynn and Will Zeilinger are friends of mine from our local Sisters in Crime chapter. (Sisters in Crime is a national organization supporting women who write mysteries, which means we also include misters). They’re a married couple who wrote separately, but now, together, they write the Skylar Drake mysteries, set in the 1950s. You can find out more about the books and Janet’s other books here. Janet has offered us a short glossary of slang from the 1950s.

My husband and I write The Skylark Drake Murder Mysteries, a hard boiled 1950s series. To make this as authentic as we can, we include the language used during that time period. Yeah, some people actually feel the 1950s is considered historical (Umm!)

It is fun looking up some of the slang that was used by the “younger generation” and for me, remembering some as well.

Burn Rubber-when a car accelerates quickly

Shocker-a liar or cheat

Knuckle sandwich- a punch in the face

Get on the horn-to use a phone

Dullsville-a boring or dull person

Wig out-get agitated

So to make our characters real, not only do we dress them in period clothes (i.e. gloves and hats) and include current events of the time we also include some of the slang.

Our third book in the series, Desert Ice was released in January and…yes we are still married!

Thanks, Janet. You can pick up copies of Desert Ice at Barnes and Noble or Amazon.



cozy mystery, spy novel, serial mystery fiction

Chapter Nine

June 8 – 11, 1983


One of the things that really amazed me about Sid that trip was his ability to act as if nothing had happened the morning after one of those wonderful, frustrating moments of closeness that kept popping up. I would be very subdued, but Sid would tease me out of it by the end of breakfast. Well, not that Wednesday. I remained somewhat lackluster until mid-morning. We got on a tour bus right after breakfast, having decided that the odds were against running into my folks since they were leaving.

We were at the Fountain Paint Pots when Sid insisted on having his turn with the camera.

“You sure you know how to work it?” I asked, reluctantly handing it over. “This isn’t surveillance photography, you know. I’ve only got one hundred A.S.A. film in there.”

“I’ve been playing around with all kinds of photography for years,” said Sid, checking the light. “I always figured if I was going to be freelancing, it would be worthwhile to be able to take my own pictures. Why don’t you sit… here on this rail.”

I did as he asked. “So why aren’t you into it now?”

He shrugged. “I mostly write business articles, and most magazines would rather use their own art for that. Now put your hands here and lift your chin.” His finger softly did the lifting. He stepped back and fussed with the light meter and focus ring. “Alright, now, smile. Think of something fun, like sex.”

“Oh!” Caught off guard, I ducked my head, covering my face with my hand. But I was laughing.

“Come on,” he coaxed. “Let me see your face.”

“I’m blushing. Why do you do that to me?”

“What did I do?” He was so innocent.

“You know darned well you told me to think about sex just to make me blush.”

“You’re so cute when you do.” Then more gently, he said, “You’re also smiling now.”

“What?” I looked up involuntarily.

Sid removed the camera from in front of his face and smiled.

“Beautiful,” he said, quietly.

I found myself almost mesmerized by his piercing blue eyes. I had to look the other way. His hand touched mine as I slid off the rail.

“Why don’t we check out what’s down this path?” he said, jovially.

I stopped him.

“How do you do it?” I asked.


“We have moments. They’re incredible. They’ve been happening ever since New Orleans, at least. But the moment passes and the next thing I know you’re acting like it never happened.”

“Oh, they’ve happened, alright.” Sid leaned on the rail and gazed at the gurgling geyser pots. “But I have to bury my feelings. What I feel for you, I cannot deal with right now, any more than you can deal with your feelings for me.” He paused. “I’m sorry. I had no right to speak for you.”

“Maybe not. But you’re right. I don’t know what’s happening to us, but whatever it is, it’s happening way too fast. I’m having a terrible time coping with it. I don’t understand my feelings right now.”

“Me, neither. But it’s not just lust anymore.”

“Please. Don’t try to put a name on it. You think we can’t cope now…” I bit my lip as a new thought occurred to me. “Maybe, when we get home, I’d better ask Henry to have me reassigned.”

“No. Please don’t.” Sid walked over to me with a strange urgency. “At least not right away. Seriously, I think a lot of this is our current situation. We’ve been living very closely together. But when we get back home, we’ll have all our old distractions and friends. I’ll have more accessible women. You’ll have your boyfriends.”

“Okay. I see what you mean. But maybe our next trip, we’d better find another cover.”

“That might not be a bad idea.” Sid put his arm around me and guided me up the path. “We’d better get back to the bus before we get left.”

One nice thing about the weirdness that was going on was that Sid started being extra nice to me. The tour bus driver told us about this Old West barbecue at the park. The only way to get to it was to ride a horse or in wagons. Although, Sid adamantly refused to ride a horse, he consented to going to the event, and he let me sign up for a horse.

That was before he made his check in call. He came back to the room with a scowl so threatening and dark it could only mean misfortune of the gravest kind.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“We have to leave tomorrow morning,” he said.

“Isn’t there going to be a second drop?”

“No. They believe they have something, so they’re stepping up the schedule.”

“That can’t be all.”

“That’s just it. The Dragon didn’t say anything else. But there was a lot more to be said. She sounded nervous. It was nothing I could put my finger on, but she wanted off the phone.”

That really put a damper on the evening. At least, I got a couple good gallops in.

We left early the next morning, actually getting a flight out of Jackson Hole to Denver and from there we just barely made the connecting flight to Flagstaff, Arizona, and from there got a shuttle to park. We were settled into our hotel room at the Grand Canyon by five o’clock.

We got lucky again and got “stuck” with a double: two full sized beds. There was a sink in the room, but the baths, showers, and toilets were down the hall. While Sid was making his second shave, I thumbed through the schedule of events.

“You want to take the all-day mule ride?” I asked. “It goes all the way to the bottom of the canyon.”


“How about the half-day trip?”

“It’s not the time involved, but the mules that I object to.”

“But don’t you want to go down into the canyon?”

“I could live without it. But if I have to, I’d prefer to walk.”

“Great. They’ve got an early hike on the Kaibab Trail, or we could take Bright Angel all the way down even earlier and come up Kaibab. That’s an all day hike, but we’re in good shape.”

“Remember that the next time I wake you up to go running.”

“Boy, if you weren’t shaving.”

“Don’t know yet.”

“Hm. Why don’t I just brief you now?”

“Okay. Who do we have?”

“Amanda Whitefoot. Black hair, brown eyes, five seven. She has a P.O. box and lives on the local reservation. She handles the public relations for Bright Angel Lodge. She has a small problem with mobility, but has an otherwise good record.”

“Sounds good.” He wiped off his face, then turned and smiled at me. He was wearing jeans, but his lightly tanned chest was bare.

“What are we going to do tomorrow?” I asked.

“I’d rather know what we’re going to do about dinner.”

“How about the coffee shop?” I suggested. “The only other restaurant in this hotel is a steak house, which I admit sounds rather attractive to me.”

Sid shook his head. “It would. I bet you also like your steaks rare.”

“And still mooing.” I grinned mischievously.

“Disgusting.” Sid picked up his shirt, the blue one that I’d made. “Let’s try the coffee shop. I should at least be able to get a salad.”

“Okay,” I sighed exaggeratedly.

“Alright. I’ll compromise. The steak house some other night. Hopefully, they have seafood.”

Just before check in, we decided to go ahead and hike the next day, depending on when the drop would be set up. Sid figured that the less we hung around the hotel, the safer we were. The Dragon agreed, especially since we would not be making any drops for the time being. I took that as a sign that they had pretty much caught their leak, although both of us knew better than to ask. If we had a need to know, we’d be told.

I was quite happy and talked Sid into an extended all-day hike, which meant we had to buy the things we needed for the hike. We were okay on clothes and shoes, but we needed water bottles, knapsacks, hats, and snacks. The last two items, Sid questioned. Well, he didn’t question the need for a hat, just the one I chose for him, a cowboy hat.

“I despise western wear,” he growled.

“It’s not all that bad,” I replied. “It’s more dignified than those baseball caps.”

“Why not this?” Sid pulled a tweed alpine hat off the shelf.

“An alpine hat in the Grand Canyon? Come on.”

“It’s more my style.” He tried it on and examined the effect in the mirror.

“That wool is going to be miserably hot and the brim is so narrow it defeats the whole purpose of having one.” I pulled it off his head and replaced it with a natural colored straw western hat. “There, that’s light weight and it’ll give you plenty of shade.”

Sid sighed as he adjusted it. “Whatever. I guess if I don’t have to look at myself in it.”

“Don’t worry, you look great.” I pushed him away from the mirror and tried a similar hat on for myself. “If you start smiling, I might just throw myself at you.”

“No such luck.” He did smile, but he took the hat off.

The snacks proved to be another obstacle.

“I gave in on the granola bars,” said Sid, firmly. “I gave in on the cheese, but all natural or not, these crackers are out. They’re loaded with salt.”

“And it’s a darned good thing they are, too,” I retorted, equally firm. “Do you want to get dehydrated? They aren’t kidding when they say it’s hot down in the canyon. I’ve hiked it before. It’s no pleasure walk.”

“Then why are we doing this?”

“Because it’s a lot of fun when you’re adequately prepared. But not having enough water or even the right stuff and it’s a killer.”


“Don’t worry, it’s not that bad, and we’re in good shape.”

Sid chuckled. “I’m not worried. I’m just fascinated by the risks you choose to take.”


“Never mind. It’s just another one of your inconsistencies.”

I just shrugged and slipped a can of beef jerkies into our growing load then went to eat dinner at the coffee shop.

We were up at the head of the trail just before dawn. As the sun rose, I got a beautiful picture of Sid and the rim silhouetted against the bright colors of the sky. As soon as there was light to see, we were on our way.

We climbed out again shortly after four.

“That’s the rotten part about hiking in this canyon,” I said, slowly stretching out. “The hard part gets saved for last.”

Sid finished off a long drink of water.

“I presume you mean the climb back up,” he said, breathing heavily. “They’re right. The air is thinner up here.”

“But it’s fresh.” I headed for the road. “Come on, we’ve got a long walk back.”

Sid sighed, took off his hat, wiped off his forehead with the back of his hand and replaced the hat. He smiled at me.

“That was quite a hike,” he said.

We heard a car approach. Sid stopped walking and faced it, holding his thumb out.

“Will you stop clowning around?” I giggled.

“Who’s clowning around?” Sid flashed a smile at me. “I’m tired.”

“Sid. Hitchhiking is dangerous.”

“It’s not that bad.” The car passed without slowing. We continued walking. “Besides, the likelihood of the enemy knowing that we’re on this road at this moment in time is pretty slim.”

“I don’t want to chance it.”

“Relax. I’ve never had anything happen to me, and until I got my money that’s mostly how I got around.”

Sid tried to thumb down yet another car. It didn’t stop. A third car did.

“Come on,” Sid said, as we trotted down the road to where the car had stopped.

It was a station wagon with Wisconsin license plates loaded with camping gear and three college students: two guys and one girl. The girl was behind the wheel, one guy was in the front passenger seat and another was sitting in the back seat with his back to the door and his legs along the width of the seat. The guy in the front rolled down his window, as we approached. We could hear the rock music while we were still fifty feet away. Unperturbed, Sid walked up to the open window.

“Hi,” he said. The girl turned down the radio.

“You guys look like you could use a lift,” said the guy.

“Sure could,” replied Sid. “We’ve been hiking all day. You headed for the village?”

“We sure are, hop in.” The young man turned around and swatted his companion’s legs. “Hey, Brett, move over.”

Yawning, Brett sat up straight. Sid opened the door.

“After you, my dear,” he said to me gallantly.

Still, hesitant, I got in. Sid climbed in after me and shut the door. The car pulled back onto the road.

“Hi, I’m Stan,” said the guy in the front seat, twisting to face us. “That’s Margie driving and Brett back there with you. You’ll have to excuse Brett. He’s been smoking too many of those funny cigarettes.”

“Stan,” groaned Margie, slapping his leg. “Will you quit saying that? You know Brett doesn’t do drugs.”

Stan chuckled.

“I just haven’t slept since we left Madison,” grumbled Brett, yawning. Clearly, the trip wasn’t agreeing with him.

“I’m Ed and this is Janet,” Sid said. “Where you guys headed eventually?”

“We’re making the grand tour of the western half of the U.S,” answered Stan. “This is our second real stop. We stayed in Denver a couple nights. After here it’s Vegas, then California. We’re going to Disneyland, Hollywood, the Sequoias, San Francisco, Tahoe, Crater Lake…”

“That’s in Oregon,” interrupted Margie. “And we’re stopping in Ashland first. Besides, they don’t want to hear every little place we’re going.”

“Camping all the way?” asked Sid.

“Half and half,” replied Stan. “and half. We’ve got relatives in some spots, we’re staying in motels in others and camping. We’re staying at a motel in Vegas.”

“I hope so,” said Brett.

“You guys camping?” Stan asked us.

“Fortunately, no,” replied Sid. “We’re staying at Bright Angel Lodge.”

“Bright Angel?” asked Margie. “Isn’t that the where they had all that trouble this morning? We heard it on the radio.”

“Trouble?” I asked, getting worried.

“One of the employees got the you-know-what kicked out of her,” said Stan. “A couple of hoods worked her over in her office. It was just luck that a couple guests heard the racket and barged in on them. They had to airlift her to Flagstaff.”

“That’s too bad,” replied Sid, casually. But I could see he was afraid of the same thing I was. “Did they catch the hoods?”

“Nope. It had to be drugs,” said Stan. “That whole business is so stupid. I know a couple of guys at the dorms in Madison who are pharmacy students. They’re strung out half the time on Tylenol and codeine. They’re just barely passing. How, I don’t know.”

“You ought to see the idiots on my floor,” said Margie. “They’re smoking grass in the hallway, right under the smoke alarm and it’s not like it’s that easy to miss.”

“That’s what smoking that stuff will do to you,” agreed Sid.

We arrived at the village shortly after that. Our ride was nice enough to drop us off in front of the Lodge. We discreetly asked a few questions about that morning’s accident and found out that Amanda Whitefoot had indeed been the victim, and that she was still kicking. They hadn’t found the two men responsible. Sid and I didn’t think they would.

Sid insisted on checking in himself and told the Dragon everything. He was not happy as he hung up.

“Well?” I asked when we got back to the room.

“We stay until Sunday,” he said, scowling again. “At least, that’s the plan. Not making that second drop in Yellowstone triggered something, but the Dragon didn’t say what.”

“That’s nice. Does this mean we have to stay cooped up again?”

“We were specifically requested not to, unfortunately. But I think we will stay wired, and you can carry your gun in your purse. I don’t think I can get away with a blazer.” Sid sat down glumly on his bed. “I was thinking of skipping out tonight by myself, but I don’t think that would be a good idea.”

“There’s always Sunday morning,” I said.

“I don’t think you want to listen in on me. Besides, how am I going to hide the transmitter?”

“So don’t use it. I’m sure a couple of hours isn’t going to hurt, especially during the day.”

“Well, we’ll see.”

Saturday, I got depressed. Very depressed. That trip I’d been at times a little blue, lackluster, crying and even out of it. But Saturday, I was hit by a depression as deep as the Grand Canyon and as dark as a night in the desert. I was feeling fine when I woke up, not even tense really, but as I was getting dressed, after a shower down the hall, it enveloped me like a huge black sheet and took over.

The worst of it was, I couldn’t figure out for the life of me what was causing it. It wasn’t the tension of the situation. I was worried about it, but not in a depressed sort of way. It wasn’t Sid. He’d been very sweet the night before, offering to eat at the steak house. Unfortunately, we weren’t able to get in at a reasonable hour, so we went elsewhere. Sid made reservations for Saturday night at seven thirty just to be sure. I knew he didn’t want to eat there that much, so I was pleased by the effort he made to make sure we got in. We weren’t close that night. If anything, Sid was a little distant, but still very pleasant to be around.

Trying to put a finger on what was depressing me only depressed me more. I shoved my feelings aside and went back to the room. I guess I was hoping my mood would just go away.

I should have known better, and to make matters worse, Sid was very distant and touchy to boot. He didn’t seem to notice me and my mood at all. In all fairness, I was working very hard at hiding it. But the perverse nature of the mood was such that I began to get a little irritated at Sid for not noticing.

At lunch, I more or less picked a fight with him. It was a little too easy. We were in the cafeteria. Sid held a table for us while I ordered.

“Well, here we are,” I said, all but slapping the tray onto the table. I handed him my sandwich. “You get turkey, no mayonnaise, on whole wheat, and milk.”

Sid morosely unwrapped the paper.

“This is roast beef, rare roast beef.”

“That’s mine.” I traded sandwiches and plopped a carton of milk in front of him. Sid looked at it, then glared at me.

“This is whole milk. You know I only drink non-fat.”

“Well, that’s all they had, so tough. I know plenty of people who’d be more than happy to have that.”

“I know. I was a deprived child once, too. I still don’t want it.”

“You are so picky. It’s disgusting. Can’t you be happy with what you’ve got?”

“Will you leave me alone?”

“Alright, what’s eating you?”

Disgusted, Sid laid his sandwich down looked away, then glared at me.

“No-one,” he said, extremely irritated. “That is the problem.”

It took me a minute to figure out what he meant.

“That is sick,” I replied, blushing and angry and still not completely sure what was involved.

“Tough. I would have thought by now you’d be able to pick up on the signals and have some sensitivity.”

“You’re a fine one to talk. All you think about is yourself and your needs. Well, what about mine?”

“I’m not the one saying no.”

“See what I mean? That’s the only need you ever acknowledge. I’ve got other needs too, you know. I operate on more than one level. I’m not just a physical person.”

“I am sorry. But in my current condition, I cannot deal with this.”

“Then why don’t you just go out tonight?”

“Not tonight.”

“Then tomorrow, while I’m at church.”

“It’s too dangerous.”

“Well, it’s better than this. You’re not livable when you’re this way.”

Sid looked at me, then sighed. “Alright. But while I’m gone, you stay away from the rim.”

We finished eating in silence. Sid’s mood picked up a little, now that there was light at the end of the tunnel. Mine got worse. Later that afternoon, I went shopping while Sid checked in. Our transmitters were on and functioning. I thought I heard him hang up the phone without saying anything. I backed into a corner and put my face into a book.

“What’s going on?” I hissed into the transmitter.

“No answer,” grumbled Sid.

“Oh no.”

“Don’t panic. It doesn’t mean anything yet. I’m going to relax in the lounge.”

The souvenir shop was only across the hall. It was a little confusing dealing with the noise from the lounge at the same time as the noise from the shop. I managed by tuning out the lounge somehow.

It was impossible to tune out the woman’s voice, though. It was a little before five when it sounded in my ear, deep and sensual. She was talking to Sid, however.

“I notice you’re alone,” she said.

“I am.” Sid’s voice was receptive.

“Looking for some company?”

“I could be. What kind…” The sounds of Sid’s voice and the lounge faded out.

I had a feeling I knew why Sid had turned his transmitter off, but the way things were, I didn’t feel it would be a good idea to bank on that. I put the mug I’d been looking at down on its shelf and went over to the lounge. From where I stood in the doorway, I could see Sid sitting sideways at a table. Across from him was a casually dressed woman. She was rather pretty but had a hard look about her. Sid had his wallet in his hands. He held it low, underneath the table top and removed a bill. After casually shoving the wallet back into his jeans, he slipped the bill under the table to the woman. She looked at it and smiled.

I nearly wretched. It had never occurred to me that was how Sid was meeting his needs. Thinking about it, it made sense. Shaking, I left the lounge.

“Sorry about that.” Sid’s voice in my ear made me jump. “I didn’t think you’d want to listen in.”

“I figured. Thanks.” I spoke softly and headed down the hall. “Um, I’m going back to the room.”

“Are you alright?”

“Fine. I’m just tired.”

“What about dinner?”

“You go on without me. I’m not hungry.”

Inside the room, I sat down on the bed. As ugly as I found the situation, I knew I had no right to condemn Sid for it. The action maybe. But I still had to accept it as a part of his life and continue actively caring for him. It wasn’t easy for me to accept. That’s why I’d gone back to the room, so I could work it out in my head before I faced him. I didn’t get much of a chance. Less than three minutes later, I heard the key in the lock and Sid came in.

“What’s the matter?” he asked, concerned.

“Nothing. Please just leave me alone for a bit.” I couldn’t look at him.

“Sorry. You don’t leave me alone. I reserve the same right.”

“Please. I’m trying to work something out.”


“Will you?”

“Something is bothering you.”

“It’s not that bad.”

“You can’t tell me you’re not hungry and expect me to believe it’s not that bad.”

“Alright, it is. But it’s something I’ve got to work out myself.”

“No way. You wouldn’t let me get away with a stunt like that. I’m not going to let you. Now spill it.”

Miserable, I took a deep breath. “When you turned off the transmitter, I got concerned and went to the door of the lounge. I saw you hand her some money.”


“You’re paying her to… you know.”

“You knew that’s how I’ve been getting it, didn’t you?”

I shook my head.

Sid shrugged. “Oh. I thought you knew, or at least figured it out. I keep forgetting how naive you are. Sorry about the rude awakening.”

“Sid, please.”

“What are you so upset about? I’ll admit it’s a little on the sordid side.”

“A little? It’s repulsive!” I blurted out. “It’s bad enough you use women the way you do. But that. It’s the most degrading, selfish-”

“Now, you just hold on one minute, little lady,” Sid snapped. “Get off your high horse right now and start facing some facts. One, I am horny and I am very limited at the moment as to how I can relieve it. Two, hookers are people too, and they don’t particularly get any big kick out of the way they make their living. But for a lot of them, it’s the only way they can. It’s either hustle or starve. Three, hookers are also very efficient. At the moment, I don’t have time to seduce someone. I’ve got to get it where I can find it and get it fast. Four, as for being selfish, I don’t suppose it occurred to you that I might have something to offer them. Women like me for a reason.”

“Oh, come on. You don’t honestly expect me to believe your primary motivation is to make some hooker feel good. You said it yourself – get it where you can find it and get it fast. You’re just out there to satisfy yourself.”

“I care about my partners.”

“Yeah, but when you’re doing it, you’re not thinking about them. You’re thinking about how good you’re feeling, and nothing else.”

“You don’t know the first thing about it.”

“I know enough.”

“No, you don’t. You have no idea.” He glared at me, his eyes blazing, and his voice got soft and even. “You don’t know what it is to want and I mean want so badly it hurts.”

I stood my ground. “You’re wrong, Sid. If there’s one thing I do know, it’s want. I’m very good at that.”

Suddenly, his manner changed. His eyes were still intense, but not with anger.

“Yes, I believe you are,” he said softly. He shook his head, then fixed his eyes on me. “This is ridiculous. We are responsible adults. We desire, we crave each other. Why are we saying no to ourselves?”

“You know very well why.” But I was beginning to wonder myself.

“It’s not like there isn’t anything between us.” He took a step towards me, his eyes pleading. “Lisa, please, will you let me make love to you?”

I couldn’t answer. I couldn’t even look away. Sid slowly moved closer.

“Please?” he asked.

His arms slid around me, across my back, with his hands up into my hair. I held him, enjoying the feel of his solidness. His mouth kissed mine with a fire unlike anything else I had ever known.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, a little voice reminded me that this was not right. Big help that was. I had always figured the moment would come when Sid’s desire would overwhelm my better judgment and it had arrived with a vengeance. The poor man was desperate, so why not get it over with?

“It’s time,” he whispered, his voice thick and husky. “I promise I’ll take very good care of you. It’s going to be beautiful.”

Again, he kissed me, and nervously, I held him. One of his arms dropped and he picked me up and carried me to my bed, his mouth still on mine. Gently, gazing into my eyes he laid me down and smoothly laid down next to me, then halfway on top of me. One of his arms remained underneath my shoulders, the other hand gently caressed my face.

He kissed my mouth again, and I tasted his tongue as it lightly slipped between my teeth. I still didn’t like it much, but it was part of it all, so I went along with it. He pulled away and looked tenderly into my eyes, his hand brushing the hair away from my face.

“Please relax, Lisa,” he said, very softly. “It’ll be so much easier for you.”

Taking what deep breaths I could, I tried to relax and calm my trembling limbs.

Sid’s gentle kisses followed my jaw back to behind my ear.

“I won’t hurt you,” he whispered. “Just relax.”

He kissed my mouth again.

“Relax,” he whispered again, but this time there was a touch of urgency in his voice.

I concentrated solely on that one word, trying to forget anything else. I could feel myself loosening.

“That’s good,” he whispered. “Hold me. Keep relaxing.”

I put my arms around him, as he continued kissing and caressing me. Effortlessly, he rolled us onto our sides. His hands gently rubbed my back. It felt good, soothing. I let myself enjoy it and tried to kiss him back as he kissed me. I didn’t realize he was pulling my t-shirt out of my pants. He rolled me back onto my back. His kisses worked their way down my neck and along my collar bone.

“Nice and relaxed,” he whispered. “You’re doing good.

His hand slipped under my t-shirt just below my ribs. The shock of his soft warm hand on my skin made me stiffen.

“Dammit, will you relax!” He fiercely pulled away.

“I’m trying.” I started to cry. “I’m trying.”

He looked at me tenderly, but all the passion was gone.

“Yes, you are,” he said very softly. He bent and gently kissed my lips. It was gentle and inviting and I tried to respond, but his tongue hit my teeth. He sighed as he pulled away. “It’s no use.” He sat up. “You’re worse than a cold shower.”

As I rolled over, sobbing uncontrollably, I felt Sid’s hand on my shoulder.

“Lisa, I’m sorry,” he said, urgently. “I didn’t mean it that way.”

“I don’t care how you meant it.” I was even more miserable than I had been. “How’d you like to be frigid?”

“But you’re not.” His strong gentle arms picked me up and held me close to him. “The passion is there. I touched it. It’s just locked away for the time being. I was a fool to push you.”

“And I was a fool for falling,” I sniffed.

He lifted my chin and smiled warmly.

“Looks like we both blew it,” he said softly.

I sniffled. Sid reached over to the bedside table and grabbed a tissue.

“Here you go,” he said quietly.

I took the tissue and blew my nose, while he held me and kissed the side of my head.

“You want to try again?” I asked.

“Oh, no. One failure is all I can handle.” He looked at his watch. “It’s time to get going anyway. You’ve got just enough time to wash off your face.”

“For what?”


“Oh. I almost forgot.” I scrambled off the bed and tucked in my shirt. I looked back at Sid. His face was unreadable, but he did look rather forlorn. I realized that as bad as I felt about what had happened [or not happened – SEH], he must have felt worse. His ego had probably taken quite a beating from my inability to respond. [Actually, I was berating myself for pushing you – SEH] But there wasn’t anything I could say.

He couldn’t find anything to say, either. In silence, we walked to the dining room. In silence, we ate most of our dinner.

A woman played a harp at one end of the room, accompanied by a young man on guitar. They did instrumentals of mostly contemporary music. It underscored our silence nicely.

We were almost through our meal when I recognized the melody she was playing. I looked at Sid.

“I know that song,” he said, thoughtfully. “Now, what is it?”

“Send In the Clowns,” I replied.

We looked at each other. At the same time, we both started breaking up. I think we just sat and laughed for about five minutes solid.

“Was that a farce?” Sid asked, as the laughter finally began to subside.

“Oh, it was awful,” I giggled. “I hope you’re not too mad at me.”


“Because you couldn’t… I don’t know… Melt me down, I guess.”

“That’s not your fault. It’s good that you’re that committed to your values. I know better than to try making it with a woman like you. That’s why I don’t usually fail. Don’t worry, I’m not in the least bit mad.” He paused as a new thought occurred to him. “Actually, I’m relieved.”


“Yeah. I think we proved to ourselves that a sexual relationship between us is just not going to work, at least not for the time being. And neither of us is at fault, really.”

“I guess so. It does kind of let the pressure off, doesn’t it? Now we’re free to be just friends.”

The waitress came and took our order for dessert. I was surprised when Sid requested a cup of de-caf. He wasn’t surprised when I asked for a slice of fresh peach pie a la mode.

“Um, this is going to sound a little strange,” I said when the waitress had gone. “But do you still… You know, want me?”

“Oh, yes.” Sid reached out and touched my cheek. “Very much. In some ways, more than ever. But it’s different now. I know the damage it can cause. I may never make love to you. Before this, the thought was unbearable. Now, it doesn’t bother me. I’d still like to. But if I never find the key to your mental chastity belt, then what we’ve got right now will be enough.”

“Thanks. I needed to hear that.” I paused. “I think it’s only fair to tell you I know what that key you’re looking for is.”


“Marriage and that includes fidelity.”

He sighed, then looked at me. “That’s asking a lot. I don’t think I could.”

“To be honest, I’m glad. I really don’t want to be married, at least not now. My independence is very important to me. And there’s also the fact that you’re not Catholic. It’s no big deal now, but when you’re married, man, those values, they’re everything.”

“Hm. I suppose they would be.”

The waitress arrived with my pie and Sid’s de-caf. Sid pulled her aside and whispered in her ear. She smiled and nodded. He slipped something into her hand.

“You’re going to be busy tonight,” I said, my voice far snider than I’d intended.

“What? Oh. No. My appointment is for tomorrow morning, and I think I will be keeping it. What I slipped to the waitress was for something entirely different.”

“I’m sorry. I guess I’m still uncomfortable with the idea of you buying it. I’ve just got to get used to it. It’s a part of you, and I’ve got to accept it as such.”

“If it’ll make you feel any better, it’s not my favorite way to go. I rarely do it. They’re hard women and not terribly willing to let go. It’s not a lot of fun always, but it’s adequate.”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what? For being yourself?”

“No. For you, for having to deal with it. I’m trying to understand.”

“So am I, my dear little ice-maiden.”

“I’m sorry I’m so cold.”

“I only called you that because you’re not.” He leaned over and gently kissed my lips. I softly returned it. He smiled. “Yes, it’s there. It’s just not mine. Yet.”

I chuckled. The harp began to play “You and Me Against the World”. I looked over at Sid. He nodded. I smiled at him. Then, impulsively, I leaned over and kissed his gentle mouth.


cozy mystery, spy novel, serial mystery fiction

Chapter Eight

June 2 – 7, 1983


“Hog butcher for the world, Toll maker, Stacker of wheat, Player with Railroads and the Nation’s Freight Handler,” or as it’s better known, Chicago, Illinois. The sun was setting Thursday night as our plane landed at O’Hare airport and it was dark by the time our taxi let us off in front of the hotel on Lake Shore Drive. I stood on the sidewalk with the luggage, while Sid paid the cab driver.

“Show me another city with lifted head singing so proud to be alive and coarse and strong and cunning..,” I said to myself.

“What?” asked Sid, picking up the suitcases.

“‘Chicago’, by Carl Sandburg,” I explained. “I can’t remember all of it. Just snatches.”

Sid just chuckled.

Our room was nice but had only one bed.

“Who had the bed the last night in Florida?” I asked when the bellhop had gone.

“I don’t remember,” Sid replied digging into his pockets. “Let’s flip for it.”

I looked at him suspiciously. Flipping a coin to decide something was not unusual for us. Sid almost invariably suggested it, flipped the coin and won. I almost always called heads, and as I thought about it that night, I realized I had never seen that quarter come up anything but tails.

“Call it in the air.” Sid sent the quarter flipping into the air.

Instead of calling it, I snatched it as it fell. I looked at it, then at Sid. He smiled sheepishly.

“Double-tailed,” I replied, not really angry or even disgusted. “Tacky, Sid.”

“A young lady gave that to me, just before I left for Nam. Made me promise to always carry it with me. She said it was a good luck piece.”

“Especially when you have to flip for something.”

“Well, I was wondering when you’d catch on.”

“Just for that, you can sleep on the floor tonight, and as an added punishment for all those months of deception, you can also watch Johnny Carson with me.”

“Cruel and unusual punishment.”

It wasn’t the Tonight Show, or even Johnny Carson, that Sid minded so much. He hates commercials. That’s one of the reasons why he almost never watches television. On the rare occasions there’s something on commercial television he really wants to see, during the commercials he’ll take the remote control and switch channels every three seconds until his program is back on. That drives me nuts. We had a rather nasty fight last spring when I got fed up with his channel switching and hid the remote control during the third episode of a mini-series we both wanted to see. We never did resolve the remote control issue, but we did decide it wasn’t worth fighting over. Of course, we’ve been known to have occasional friendly wrestling matches over it.

Fortunately, the television in the hotel room didn’t have a remote control and I made Sid promise not to touch the channel switch. I turned it on just before ten.

“Aren’t you turning that on a little early?” Sid called from the bathroom, where he was getting ready for bed.

“I want to watch the news,” I answered. “I’m tired of not knowing what’s going on in the world.”

“But it’s not even eleven yet.”

“This is the Midwest, Sid. Everything’s an hour earlier.”

“That’s right. Turn it up so I can hear.” He opened the bathroom door a crack.

I was already in my nightgown and robe. I took a pillow and lay on my belly with my head at the foot of the bed and chest propped up by the pillow. The anchorman was introduced and the camera zoomed in on him.

“Good evening. In tonight’s top story, a shootout with police in New Orleans has solved the murders of two women, one in Orlando and the other in San Francisco. Paul DeNaio, with our New Orleans affiliate, has that story. Paul?”

Sid came out of the bathroom wearing his robe and bottoms, but still brushing his teeth.

“Uh, oh,” he mumbled, through the foam.

Pictures of coroner’s men taking bagged bodies away in the night filled the screen as the voice spoke.

“Andrew Jackson Square is not known for gun battles, but that is exactly what erupted here last night when New Orleans police officers interrupted and shot two gunmen.”

There was a shot of a mustached police spokesman labeled Captain James Wilkes.

“The suspects exited the alley over there, firing their guns,” said Wilkes in that wooden tone all police spokespeople seem to use. “We, uh, don’t know at this time who they were shooting at. The officers were on patrol, heard the gunshots, and came around the corner, there, identified themselves, and then returned fire.”

DeNaio picked it up. “The body of a third man, whose name has not been released was also found in the alley. Police believe the gun battle may be connected. The gunmen were identified as Lyle Kisko and Arnold Shipner. Kisko died at the scene. Shipner died later this morning at New Orleans General Hospital.”

“How comforting,” I grumbled, crossing myself.

“At least we didn’t do it,” Sid said, still brushing his teeth.

“Today, a routine check matched Kisko’s fingerprints with those found in connection with the strangling death of Laura Fredrickson, a tour director who worked at Disney World. Fredrickson’s body was found at the Orlando, Florida resort last Friday, May 27th. Orlando police were already comparing notes on a similar murder in San Francisco on May 12th, that of Gina Delacando, an independent insurance sales rep from Washington D.C. Semen samples from both Kisko and Shipman have been shipped to Orlando and San Francisco police departments and early results look promising. The question now remains why and how did Kisko and Shipman attack two women on two separate coasts and what relation those crimes might have, if any, to the death of the third man here in New Orleans. This is Paul DeNaio, ABC News.”

I reached over and turned off the television. Sid returned to the bathroom and rinsed out his mouth.

“Why do I get the feeling that Laura Fredrickson did not show up for her drop?” I asked. “And that you took advantage of the fact that the transmitters were not working to avoid telling me?”

Sid stayed in the bathroom. “I don’t know that that’s an issue.”

“I think it is.” I was angry and hurt.

“That was what? Last Friday? I wasn’t exactly in any shape for extended conversation then, you know.”

“That’s no excuse. Will you come out of there? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Sid stood in the doorway. “I guess I didn’t want you to worry. I don’t know.”

“That really hurts.” I started to cry.

“That’s not necessarily why.” Trying to keep a grip on his temper, he paced. “Damn it, I was already all tensed up with being horny and all, and then she didn’t show, and I had a bad feeling I knew why, and I just didn’t want you to have look at another corpse. I was trying to spare you, and that, I swear, is the truth.”

I nearly shrieked. “What do I have to do to prove myself to you? Okay, I used to panic because I was new to this, but are you going to hold that against me forever?”

“Of course not.”

“Then will you get it through your thick skull that I don’t want to be protected? Yeah, I’ve got a problem, but it’s not going to get any better if you keep shielding me from it. I thought we were a team. How can we be if you hold stuff back from me?”

“I didn’t mean to.” He looked at me helplessly. “Look, I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened. I wasn’t exactly thinking straight. Anyway, it scared the hell out of me. I was having enough trouble holding myself together. I didn’t think I could hold you too.”

“Didn’t you consider the possibility that I could have held you?” The tears ran down my face.

“I should have.” He sat down in a chair next to the dresser. “I don’t want to hurt you and I’m sorry if I have. I know it’s been a while since we’ve been working together, but I’m still not used to having another person around. I’ve been alone all my life and I’ve preferred it that way.” He sighed. “I intensely dislike being vulnerable, and I don’t like saying how I feel. It’s extremely hard for me to tell you I feel afraid, or that I feel anything at all. Even when I’m angry at you, I have to be in control. That’s the worst of what you’ve done to me, and probably the best. You make me own up to my feelings, at least to myself. Handling all that, I…” He shook his head, unable to finish. He got up, restlessly.

“Sid,” I took his hand as he passed close to me and patted the bed next to me. He looked at me puzzled but sat down. I turned his back to me and gently rubbed it in a circular pattern.

“I just want you to understand that I can be strong, too,” I said. “And I don’t care if you’re weak. For heaven’s sake, if you keep trying to be strong for both of us, all you’ll do is hurt yourself. I don’t want to see that.”

He turned to me and gently laid his hand on my cheek. It was soft and his thumb tenderly caressed me. He began to move towards me, his lips barely parted. I let out a strangled little cry, afraid that I could not resist him. Apparently, he thought I could, for he stopped and shook his head, withdrawing his hand.

“No.” He closed his eyes and turned his head. “No, I won’t.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Don’t ever be. You can’t be sorry for your need to say no to me any more than I can be sorry for my need to make love to you.”

“You don’t know how much I wish we could.” I wiped the tears from my eyes.

“Someday, Lisa, we will, when I can make you see the beauty and not the guilt.”

“No. I couldn’t ask you to make that kind of sacrifice.”

“I won’t. Nor will you. It would hurt both of us too much. When we come together, it will be on terms we both agree on, happily.”

“If that could ever happen.”

“It will, that much I do know.”

“I can’t change that way.”

“You already are, just like I’m changing your way. We’ll change and come together somewhere in the middle.”

I smiled at him knowing there wasn’t any somewhere in the middle and half-fearing that there was. Sid pulled me up off the bed and took the bedspread, extra blanket, and my pillow. Quickly, silently, he made up the bed on the floor. He turned to me.

“Goodnight, my sweet Lisa,” he said softly and kissed my forehead.

“Goodnight, Sid.” I reached and my lips brushed his cheek next to his ear.

We looked at each other fondly for a minute. Then Sid sighed.

“Go, now, to bed.” He turned me around and gave me a gentle shove. “I have only so much control.”

“Maybe I’ll make myself scarce tomorrow.”

Sid laughed.

“We’ll see,” I heard him say from the floor.

The next morning, at breakfast, I went over Sid’s drop.

“He’s Damon Savallo, a top man, adopted in 1979. He’s black, about six three, and big. His cover is as a talent scout for the Chicago White Sox. He transferred in from division 57J when our group needed some extra bodies. His references were excellent, and he has exceeded expectations.”

“Hm.” Sid mulled it over. “Is there anything you want to see or do while we’re here?”

“I’ve heard good things about the Museum of Science and Industry, but that’s kind of an all day thing.”

Sid’s drop was around two, at a coffee shop about a block from our hotel. Sid didn’t like the idea but didn’t want to drop any clues by changing it.

“Maybe I will make myself scarce this morning. It’ll probably be my best chance. Do you mind putting off the museum until tomorrow?”

“Nah. I think I’ll just hang around here and relax. What time do you want me at the drop?”

“Given that you picked up a tail on that last one, why don’t I just turn up the transmitter and you hang out in the lobby here. If there’s trouble, you can catch it, and if I’m tailed, you won’t be seen.”

“Sounds good.”

Sid took off a few minutes later, and I ordered a second breakfast with extra bacon. I had seen a bookshop in the lobby and figured I could augment the Victorian Poets with a good murder mystery but didn’t find any to my liking, or anything else I felt like reading. So I explored the hotel.

I was delighted to find a laundromat on the bottom floor. I didn’t know what Sid was planning on doing about the dirty clothes situation. But I knew what I was going to do that day. I hurried back to the room.

While gathering together the laundry, I decided to take a chance on having the dry cleaning done. Not that I was worried about the hotel. I was sure they, or whoever did their dry cleaning, were competent and I was able to get it in in time for one-day service. I was worried about a possible quick departure. Doing the laundry myself, I had a little more control on what would be left behind if we had to leave Chicago suddenly.

The drop went fine, without hint of a tail or trouble. Sid checked in and came back to the hotel around three thirty, humming “Marianne.” I was on the bed, surrounded by a pile of underwear and socks.

“Repacking?” Sid asked, not quite sure what to make of it.

“In a minute. I’ve got to get all this stuff sorted first, then folded and the socks matched.”

“What did you do today?”

“The laundry. I don’t know if you noticed, but both of us were out of clean clothes.”

“Well, I had, but I was going to call the hotel laundry service tomorrow.”

“Now you don’t have to.”

“I would have preferred it.” Sid looked around. “Where are my shirts? I assume you washed them.”

“And dried them. They’re hanging in the closet. They’re not a bit wrinkled. I hung them and your washable pants up straight from the dryer. That’s one advantage to cheap clothes.”

Sid inspected his shirts.

“Oh no,” he groaned. He pulled out one of the shirts on its hanger and fussed with the collar. “Look at that. Limp.” He turned and gestured with the shirt. “I like my collars, cuffs, and fronts lightly starched. That’s why I use a laundry service.”

I shook my head.

“He can face gunmen and corpses without blinking an eye,” I addressed the air. “But let his collars go limp and the man goes to pieces.”

“A- I am not going to pieces, and B- It is the small creature comforts that make the unpleasant things in life bearable.”

“What’s comfortable about a starched shirt?” I held up a pair of athletic tube socks. “Are these yours or mine?”

“What did you do with my warm up suit?”

“Are you kidding? I washed the warm-ups first. Those things were beginning to walk around by themselves. They’re drying in the bathroom.”

“I see.”

“I washed everything. Well, not everything. I took your suit, your two sportcoats, my shetland sweater, my black dress, and your tweed pants to the hotel’s dry cleaners. They’ll be ready at four.”

“And you washed everything else?”

“If it didn’t say dry clean only on the tag, I did.”

“Including my jeans.”


“You washed my jeans.” Sid sank into the chair, devastated.

“They were dirty.” I couldn’t help being a little amused by Sid’s distress.

“You do not wash jeans. You dry clean them, otherwise, they shrink and fade.”

“Not if you don’t put them in the dryer, which I didn’t. They are also drying in the bathroom.” I shook my head as Sid bolted in there.

He sighed as he came out and leaned in the doorway.

“At least you didn’t crease them down the center. I really hate those lines.”

“Of course I didn’t. Give me credit for some know how. When I said I did everything on Daddy’s resort, I meant it. Part of that included guest laundry. I also had a girlfriend in college who worked in a dry cleaners. We used to compare notes every now and then.”

“And you still washed my jeans.” Sid returned to the chair.

I had to laugh.

“What’s so funny?” he grumbled.

“You. For heaven’s sake, it’s not that big a deal.”

“Oh, it isn’t? I happen to value my personal appearance.”

“So do I. But I don’t let it bother me if I can’t look perfect all the time. Besides, who’s going to see you? Just me and I couldn’t care less if your shirts aren’t starched.  And I seriously doubt you’re going to have any problems attracting women even with a limp collar and jeans that just might be a touch faded.”

“That is the least of my worries.” He folded his arms and gazed at the bathroom. “This may sound crazy to you, but I don’t really care who sees me. It’s like a picture hanging crooked on a wall. Some people wouldn’t even care. I’m the type that has to have it straight.”

“I understand. My mother is like that sometimes. I remember once when she had a dinner party, she found a spot on her best table cloth at the last minute. For a lot of reasons I don’t remember, she couldn’t change it. But I do remember that nobody knew the spot existed because the centerpiece covered it. Mama still went nuts. Never mind that nobody else knew. She knew it was there and it spoiled her entire evening. Look, I’m sorry I went ahead and washed everything. I should have asked you first.”

“That’s alright.” He still sounded miserable.

“Listen, if it’ll make you feel any better, I’ll see about digging up some spray starch and an ironing board.”

“Thanks, but don’t bother. It’s not fair for me to burden you with my personal fetishes.”

“I thought that’s what you were paying me for.”

“For taking care of the mundane trivialities, yes. But while ironing is definitely mundane, it is anything but trivial. Remember, my innocent one, there was a time when if I wanted a shirt without wrinkles in it, I had to iron it myself, and I grew up in the days before permanent press. That is why I’m so glad I can pay to have it done for me. I’m sorry I got upset at you. I shouldn’t have. You’ve obviously been working hard today. I should be thankful.”

“Don’t worry about it. It was worth it to see you having fits.”

“I don’t have fits.” Sid glared at me.

“Of course not,” I replied soothingly. “I was speaking figuratively. Now, will you help me figure out whose socks are whose?”


“Our athletic socks, dear boss. We both wear tube socks to run in.”

Sid came over and helped sort out the athletic socks. Then he refolded all his other socks the way he liked them folded, while I finished folding his underwear. He finished with the socks first and looked at me, puzzled.

“Why doesn’t that bother you?” he asked.

“What?” I set his underwear to one side and started untangling a pile of bras.

“My underwear. You always get so embarrassed about things like that, but not that. I don’t understand.”

“At the resort, I handled all sorts of underwear. It never bothered me. Why should yours?”

“I don’t know. I just know people get weird about underwear. I remember once, I was living with this girl and one day I was helping her with her laundry and she went into fits because I was handling her bras. I couldn’t figure it out. I’d been removing them from her for three nights and sometimes during the day, too. And, yet, here you are, the most modest person I’ve met in my life, and not only do you fold my stuff without batting an eye, you let me sit here and watch you fold yours.”

“I’ll even let you help if you like.”

“You don’t mind me putting my hands all over your most intimate apparel?”

“As long as I’m not in it.”

“You are hopelessly inconsistent.”

I just shrugged. Sid shook his head and helped me fold.

That night, after dinner in a fairly respectable restaurant, we went to a movie. The next day, Saturday, was spent at the Museum of Science and Industry. Sid went out that night by himself and didn’t come back ‘til one thirty a.m., humming “Marianne”.

Sunday was another second drop. Sid went with me to church, in his blue sport shirt and navy sportcoat, under which was his model thirteen.

“Why not do what..?” I asked hesitantly as we walked to the church. “Well, you know. What you did the last couple of Sundays?”

“Because of check in yesterday.”

We’d been ordered to make the second drop together and try to capture the persons we figured would be there to nail us.

“It’ll be faster if we don’t have to meet up with each other.”

“We can probably ditch after communion, too.”

Sid hesitated. “Won’t that be a little conspicuous?”

“Hardly,” I snorted. “It’s almost more conspicuous to stay ‘til the end. Are you going to be okay without your fix?”

“That’s why I went out last night.”

For some reason, I felt very restless all through mass. I couldn’t concentrate on the readings or the sermon and during the consecration, I could have been at the drop for all the attention I was paying.

It had been arranged at a park, I still can’t remember the name, but there were plenty of nice, leafy trees to discourage sniper fire and give us plenty of cover. Unfortunately, that also gave any bad guys plenty of cover. Sid and I went there in separate taxis. Although I remained more or less within sight of him at all times, I kept a good hundred feet or so between us. It was what Sid called a flanking maneuver.

It worked, sort of. Sid met Savallo at a park bench, and within seconds, gunfire erupted. Sid and Savallo dove behind the bench. I traced the gunfire to a tree across the path and down some, and I mean literally within the branches. The advantage was that the gunman was pinned. The disadvantage was that I couldn’t see him for the leaves. He, however, could see me approach.

I dashed for the closest tree. Savallo stood and fired. The gunman put a couple slugs in him and he fell over the bench. I aimed for the branches and fired, hoping for the best. That drew more fire at me. Sid tried shooting from the bench but didn’t get much of a chance. It seemed the least movement brought on bullets.

We remained in a standoff for a while. It seemed like an hour or three, but it couldn’t have been. Sirens approached. I fired at the tree again and ducked as bullets tore into the tree that hid me. I tried again, but as I ducked, out of the corner of my eye, Savallo raised his head and gun. The revolver snapped back and tumbled, but it had done its work. The branches rustled, and the gunman tumbled to the ground.

Sid scrambled for me, his hand on his left arm.

“The bathrooms,” he gasped.

“You okay?” I asked.


We made it to the public restrooms before the police got to the park, and managed to stay hidden long enough for them to get too occupied with Savallo and the guy he’d killed to notice us casually look them over and saunter away. Sid had ditched his sport coat in the restroom and kept his arms folded. His shoulder holster went in my purse.

We didn’t say anything in the cab back to the hotel. Sid continued holding his arm.

“Get packed,” he said, gruffly when we got back to the room and headed for the bathroom. “We’re getting out of here.”

As he passed me, I noticed the dark stains between the fingers of his right hand. I stopped him and pulled his hand away. On his left upper arm, there was a bright red horizontal bloody stripe. I looked at him in horror.

“Lord Jesus, have mercy,” I whispered.

“I’m alright,” Sid replied. “I just got winged. That’s why I couldn’t shoot back. But it’s not serious. Now hurry up and get packed.”

“No.” There was a silence as he glared at me. I stood my ground. “We’ve got to take care of your arm first.”

“I’m not going to a hospital. That’s too obviously a bullet wound and someone will ask questions.”

I looked at it more closely. “I don’t think we’ll have to.”

“Alright, I’ll clean it up and you start packing.”

“I’ll clean it up. It’s at too awkward an angle for you. The packing can wait.”

“We’ve got to leave Chicago as fast as possible.”

“I know. But you need taking care of.” I pulled out the first aid kit. “That comes first.”

“Alright,” Sid grumbled.

“Sit on the bed. I’ve got to get a washcloth and a towel.”

I don’t think my touch was as gentle as Sid’s, but I tried. He gritted his teeth as I carefully cleaned the wound.

“It burns like hell,” he grumbled.

“I’ll bet. There isn’t any puncture wound. It looks like it just grazed you.”

Sid winced as he tried to flex his left hand. “It did enough. I couldn’t shoot, damn it. Savallo killed himself plugging the bastard.”

“Dear Jesus, have mercy on his soul.” I crossed myself and sniffed, then went back to work. “Do you get the feeling we’re leaving a trail of bodies?”

Sid winced again as I applied antiseptic ointment to the stripe.

“Unfortunately, yes. I just can’t figure out why, or even if I should figure it out.”

“Why not?” I carefully cut a piece of gauze padding to fit over the wound.

“We don’t necessarily have the need to know.”

“Given that we’re also the targets, I think we need to know plenty.”

“Well, we haven’t been nailed yet.”

“I suppose.”

I wasn’t feeling terribly reassured. After I finished bandaging his arm, I washed off his hand. While Sid started packing, I rinsed the blood out of the washcloth and towel.

Less than an hour later, we were at an airline ticketing desk at O’Hare airport.

“We want to go to Yellowstone,” Sid told the girl behind the computer terminal.

“The National Park?” she asked.


“Well, sir, the closest we fly to it is Boise, Idaho. Then you can change planes there and fly to either West Yellowstone, Idaho Falls, Jackson Hole, Bozeman or Billings. Oops. Wait a minute, skip Bozeman.”

“We want to get there today.”

“Well, I’m afraid, sir, that’s impossible. The next flight out of Boise to any of those airports is Tuesday morning to Jackson Hole.”

“Can we go to Boise today?”

“Yes. We’ve got a flight in about an hour.”

“Fine, put us on it.”

“Certainly. I can check your baggage here and assign you seats if you’d like.”

“Great. Two in non-smoking, with a window seat.”

“Would you like me to ticket you through to Jackson Hole?”

“No thanks. We’ll see what happens when we get to Boise.”

Sid handed the girl his credit card with some difficulty, given his arm.

“Why didn’t you take the flight to Jackson?” I asked as we headed for the gate.

“There’s got to be a faster way to get there. We’ll find it in Boise.”

“You want me to take your carry on? It’ll be easier on your arm.”

“I can manage.”

He couldn’t, really, but needed to keep his precious control, pretty gutsy, in a way, when you consider we didn’t have any pain pills except some Tylenol.

There wasn’t a faster way to Yellowstone. We spent a good two hours at the Boise airport looking for one. The only thing that left sooner than the flight to Jackson Hole was a bus and it left Monday evening. Sid was about to resign himself to spending two nights in Boise when I got a hold of a road map and ascertained that if we drove ourselves and left early Monday morning we could get to Yellowstone by dinner. Sid wasn’t overwhelmingly thrilled with the idea but agreed when I pointed out that we would have to rent a car, anyway, in Jackson Hole, as it was still a two and a half hour drive from Yellowstone. I also suggested the possibility of camping, but Sid flatly refused to. He said it wasn’t practical for our situation. I had to agree, although I knew darned well the reason Sid said no had little to do with practicality.

Once we saw Boise, Idaho itself, Sid was perfectly happy to be driving out of there the next morning in the four-door sedan we’d rented. Not that Boise is all that bad, in fact, it’s rather nice as cities go. But I do have to be honest. Boise, Idaho is not one of the nation’s hot spots, especially on a Sunday night. It also had more one-way streets than L.A. Sid and I got turned around three times looking for a place to eat dinner. To make matters worse, Sid was sulking because I had to drive because his arm hurt.

It wasn’t bothering him that much, either that or something else was bothering him more. At six thirty, he left me at the motel and drove off to find some nightlife in the deserted city. I had no idea how, but he did. He came back close to eleven, singing “Marianne”.

We left the motel at six a.m. Sid drove, saying that his arm felt a lot better. It probably did, but I knew darned well that wasn’t why he was driving. [So I hate being driven – SEH] Sid can be a real control freak at times.

We didn’t leave Boise until after six thirty. While trying to get to the interstate, we stumbled across a supermarket just opening. I told Sid to stop.

“Why?” he asked.

“We’d better get some more bandages for your arm.”

“Alright.” He pulled into the parking lot.

Once in the store, I got another idea.

“Hey, why don’t we get one of these?” I said, pointing out some styrofoam ice chests. “We can get some ice and some cold drinks and stuff for lunch and have a picnic. Better yet, we’ll get some munchies for on the way.”

“We won’t be getting much exercise all day in the car. Eating on top of that…” Sid shook his head. “Besides, I’ve got a feeling you’re going to want to stuff that thing with soda pop.”

“Alright,” I groaned. “I’ll compromise. Fresh fruit and healthy stuff. You know, if we nibble on the way, we won’t have to stop for lunch and that’ll save time.”

“True. Okay, you’re on. But no junk.”

“If you insist.” I pulled a shopping cart away from the others.

We bought bananas, strawberries, a couple oranges and some peaches. Sid insisted on a quart of non-fat milk, which I drink though I’m not overly fond of it. I tried to get him to compromise with low fat, but he remained firm. We also got several different canned fruit juices (no sugar added). Sid was delighted to find the store carried Perrier and added a six-pack of bottles to the cart. I was able to talk him into a couple packages of Alouette, that French cheese spread, and some unsalted Akmak crackers. When we went past the candy aisle, I tried to sneak a couple of candy bars and a package of raspberry whips into the cart. Sid caught me and made me put them back. He also tried to make me put back the package of fig bars.

“We agreed,” he said, getting irritated. “No junk.”

“These are not junk,” I replied. “See, they’re even whole wheat. They’re the best thing to keep you, uh, well, moving.”

He looked at the package and then at me.

“They do, huh?”

“Grandma Caulfield swears by them.”

“She does. Well, what the heck.” He dropped the package into the cart. Sid may not agree with Grandma Caulfield’s views on sex, but he doesn’t argue with her home remedies. I’d had to dose him before and he knows they work.

We got some plastic knives and napkins and the extra bandages. As we headed for the checkout, I added, without thinking, a box of female type personal items. Sid looked at me, rather puzzled.

“I’m due in a few days,” I explained, blushing a little.

“I thought you bought those in New Orleans,” he said, quietly.

I was caught. “I didn’t get a chance to. They got me before I could.”

“Come to think of it, you should already be using them.”

I bit my lip. “I’m late.”

“This late and most women would be worried, and we both know you’ve got nothing to worry about.” Sid’s voice had that angry edge to it.


“Why did you lie to me?”

I looked at him. I could see he was hurt.

“Look, I know you’re mad and you have every right to be. But can we wait to argue about this until we get back to the car?”

Sid’s lips pressed into a tight, straight line. He nodded.

When we got back to the car, I started packing the ice chest immediately. Sid watched for a couple minutes before speaking.

“That really hurts, Lisa.” His voice was just barely shaking. “And after you yelled at me in Chicago for keeping things from you.”

The tears were already rolling down my face.

“Well, I went to get your birthday card and I knew you’d be really mad if I told you that.”

“There was no way you could help being found out. Didn’t it occur to you that I’d be even madder when I did?”

“Well, yes, but that wasn’t all of it.”

“What else is there?”

“It was your birthday and I wanted to surprise you.” I broke down into sobs, waiting for the inevitable fury.

“You mean Wednesday night?” he asked quietly.

“Uh-huh.” I looked at him, still crying. “Didn’t it mean a lot to you?”

“Well, yes.” He sighed, helpless, the anger draining from him. “Oh, Lisa. Come here.” He reached over and pulled me to him. Gently, he held me. I sobbed onto his shoulder. He sighed again. “Woman, what have you done to me?”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

He released me enough to look into my face, his hands still holding my shoulders.

“I ought to be giving you the chewing out of your life. Instead, I feel like a heel for getting mad at you in the first place. What you did was stupid, even without Mutt and Jeff around, risking your neck just to buy a birthday card for me. Then to lie about it just for the sake of a silly celebration…”

“Sid, that’s the only thing I ever lie about, honest. Just birthday surprises, and Christmas, and things like that. You’ve got to believe me.”

“I believe you, and your little celebration meant a lot. I was very touched. But in the final analysis, it wasn’t that important.”

“It was to me. You were so nice to me on my birthday.”

“I didn’t expect…”

“I know.” I sniffled. “It’s just that, Sid, you’re my best friend. I’m closer to you than I am to Mae. I had to do something.”

“Oh, Lisa.” Sid opened the front door to the car and reached in and pulled out a tissue from the box that had been left on the dash. He put it to my nose. “Come on, blow.”

I pulled my head away.

“Thanks, but I can blow it myself.” I gently took the tissue from his hand and blew my nose. With one arm still around me, I felt Sid kiss the side of my head. He walked over and finished packing the ice chest.

“You know, Lisa,” he said fitting the lid on. “You’re one of the best things that ever happened to me.” He opened the door to the back seat and put the folded shopping bags on the floor. “You’re right up there with losing my virginity.”

“Thanks a lot,” I grumbled.

Sid looked at me for a moment.

“That wasn’t meant to be as tacky as it sounded. Give me a hand with this, will you?” He grunted as we picked up the ice chest and swung it onto the back seat. “Maybe I’d better put that into perspective.” He shut the car door, looked away for a moment to think and then back at me. “I’ve got a good life. Sure, it’s had its low spots. But a lot of very good things have happened to me.” As he spoke, he walked around to the driver’s side of the car and opened the front door. He paused, not getting in. “The women I’ve known, getting published, getting my money.” He looked at me intently. “There is a reason I’m exceptionally horny. I get a tremendous amount of pleasure from sex. Until I met you, losing my virginity was the very best thing that had ever happened to me.”

I was speechless. What was there for me to say? I knew how hard it was for him to go without sex. I cared for him so much but was powerless to express it.

“We’d better get going,” he said, getting into the car.

I got in on my side, slowly putting on my seat belt.  Sid waited until it was buckled before starting the engine. He looked at me.

“You mean a lot to me, Lisa,” he said quietly.

“Oh, Sid, you mean a lot to me, too.”

He put the car in gear and pressed the accelerator.

“Let’s go find that interstate,” he said, jovially, purposely shattering the mood that could go nowhere.

As we came into Twin Falls, Idaho, we saw several signs for the local McDonald’s.

“Oh, Sid, please stop,” I begged, teasing. “I really need a junk food fix.”

“Come on,” said Sid, laughing. He accepted a cracker that I’d just spread with cheese. “Are you seriously telling me this isn’t better than McDonald’s?”

I finished licking the cheese off my fingers. “Well…”

“You’re hopeless, woman.”

“My tastes just aren’t limited, that’s all. I’m open-minded.”

“I prefer to be discriminating.”

“You’d never know from the women you date.”

“I’m open-minded. There are times when that’s appropriate, too.”

I chuckled. “It seems so weird, you know? We’re so different sometimes, and yet we do work well together, and we’re such good friends. It’s not supposed to work this way.”

“I’m glad it did.”

“And the really funny thing is, if it hadn’t been for one chance meeting, it would never have happened.”

“But fortunately I came along and rescued you from a fate worse than death.”

“Just so I could risk my neck with you, and Larry wasn’t that bad.”

“A- He was, and B- You’d already ditched him. I merely provided a more graceful escape.”

“Then what, pray tell, was the fate worse than death you were talking about?”

“Working for your parents.”

“That’s not fair.”

“That’s the way you described it.”

“Well, maybe I should have gone back to Tahoe. I would have been safer. Working for you, if I’m not trying to save my life, I’m defending my honor.”

“Now wait just one minute. I have never made any serious attempt to deflower you.”

“But the thought has crossed your mind.”

“Of course it does, frequently. That doesn’t mean I’m going to do anything about it.”

“I know. That’s why I’m still around.”

“Still, I won’t turn down any invitations.”

“Well, don’t expect any.”

“I’m not.”

We lapsed into a silence.

“Do you really regret coming to work for me?” Sid asked suddenly.

“No. Not in the least. I like the excitement. I can’t imagine living a dull normal routine life anymore.”


There was another silence.



“Do you regret hiring me?”

“Oh, no.”

“You keep saying that I’m doing things to you.”

“You are. You’ve managed to turn my life upside-down.”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what? Making me think about things? For reaching out and touching me? For making me share myself with you? Lisa, you haven’t got a thing to be sorry for.”

Shortly after one, we stopped at a rest area to stretch and use the facilities. I always take longer than Sid, so he was waiting for me when I came out. Smiling, he put his arm around my shoulders and suggested a short walk around the rest area before we got back to into the car. I agreed.

About halfway around, we both saw at the same time what looked like a New York model getting out of a little Fiat with the top down. I heard Sid catch his breath.

“What?” I asked.

“That is one gorgeous woman,” he said softly.

He was gazing at her with more admiration than lust. Maybe that’s why I reacted the way I did. I still don’t know. I do know it was a very unreasonable reaction. I shrugged his arm off my shoulder.

“What’s your problem?” Sid asked, genuinely surprised.

“I suppose we don’t have to be in Yellowstone by dinner,” I replied.

“What do you mean?”

“If you want to go pick up on her. I suppose I could find something to occupy myself.”

“I was just looking at her”

“It was the way you looked at her.”

Sid looked at me, uncomprehending. Then the light dawned and he chuckled.

“You’re jealous.”

“I am not.”

“Yes, you are. It’s written all over you.”

“So what if I am?” I glared at him as he laughed harder. “And stop laughing. It’s not that funny.”

“It’s hilarious.”

“It is not!” Then I mumbled, “You never look at me that way.”

“Why should I?”

“You think I’m ugly don’t you?”

“No, I don’t. I think you’re pretty.”

“You never said so.”

“I’m saying it now. You’re a pretty woman.”

“Not like her.”

“I’m not going to lie to you. No, you’re not. But you’re still good looking.”

“I’ll bet you’ve never even looked at me.” Which really, was pretty ridiculous, and I knew it even as I said it. But I was in no mood to be rational.

“Alright.” Sid threw his hands up in disgust. He stepped back a couple of paces and really looked at me, in a very detached manner. “Strictly physically speaking, you’ve got a good figure, nice hair, a nice face, a good smile, when you’re smiling, and beautiful eyes. Your eyes are definitely your strong point.”

“That’s all?”

“What more do you want?” Sid was very frustrated. He came over to me and put his hands on my shoulders. “I’m sorry, Lisa, but you are not unutterably gorgeous. You are, however, a very very beautiful woman.”


“Lisa, what makes you beautiful has very little to do with your physical features, which are, nonetheless, very nice.” He put his arm around my shoulders and walked me back to the car. “What makes you beautiful is your character, your personality.”

“That sounds kind of funny coming from you,” I replied, somewhat mollified.


“You don’t seem to be terribly worried about whether or not a woman has a personality.”

“I’m not. But then, the women who have no personalities that I know usually make up for it in bed.”

“That’s sad.”


“To have being good in bed as your only positive quality. I don’t know. It just seems like so little.”

“It can be a great deal.”

We fell silent and remained so until we were back on the highway.



“Does it ever occur to you that you use women for your own personal gratification?”

Sid was unfazed. “Yes. But I don’t quote unquote use anyone who doesn’t want to be.”

“I don’t know. It just seems very selfish.”

“It probably is. But then, they’re using me in the same way.”

“Doesn’t that bother you?”

“No.” It didn’t.

“Why not?”

“Why should it? I’m happy, they’re happy. They know that sex is all I want from them and that’s all they want from me.”

I frowned. “There’s got to be more to it than that.”


“Well, what about relating to them as human beings? Like we do.”

“Lisa, what you and I have is an exception. You are a very unusual person in that you work on your relationships. I work with you on ours because we have to.”

“Is that hard?”

“Yes, it is. I’ll admit it is very rewarding, and I don’t mind the work anymore. But most people don’t want to work that hard on a relationship, myself, for the most part, included. I know that sounds terribly cold-hearted to you, but it is a fact of life.”

“Facts of life have a nasty habit of being very brutal, don’t they?” I sighed.

“Not always.” He could see how depressed I was getting. “Flowers are a fact of life and they’re not brutal.”

“No.” My spirits lifted a little.

“So is fresh fruit. Speaking of which, why don’t you hand over a strawberry?”

“They’re all gone.”

“You don’t mean to tell me you ate that entire basket full?”

“No, you ate half.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“You did too.”

“I did not. I only got, what, three?”

“Four, but whose counting?”

“That’s not half the basket.”

“Alright, so I got three-fourths. You’ve got to learn to eat faster, Sid.”

“Well, you could try not inhaling everything edible within reach. Would you mind peeling an orange for me?”

“May I have some?”

“You’ll probably get most of it, but alright.”

I made a point of giving him most of the orange. As I peeled it, the juice ran all over.

“Orange juice is a fact of life,” I moaned, trying to keep it all on the napkin.

“But it’s not brutal.”

“Just sticky. I’d better pop these sections straight into your mouth. You don’t want to get everything all sticky.”

“That would be highly distasteful.”

The first section didn’t quite make it all the way in. I still had the piece that didn’t make it. But the juice dribbled down his chin. Laughing, Sid grabbed a tissue and wiped it off. The next piece almost went down his windpipe.

“No more throwing,” he gasped, as soon as he could speak.

“I’m sorry.” I was, too, though I was laughing with him. “You ready for the next section?” He nodded. “Okay, open up.”

As I gently pushed the section in, his lips caught my fingers and he licked the juice off of them.

“Yuck!” I snatched my hand away.

“There are a lot of women who like that.” Sid grinned mischievously.

“I know.” I licked my fingers myself. “Licking is supposed to be really sexy. Well, it’s just gross to me. Like French kissing. I never could figure that one out.”

“You seriously don’t like French kissing?” Sid asked. “I thought you were just joking that time you told me no tongues.”

“Not entirely,” I said. Sid had only kissed me that one time in the entire ten months we’d known each other. It was under the mistletoe, and he’d set me up. “And believe me, I was glad you didn’t.”

Sid shook his head. “I’ll never get you figured out. You say you like necking.”

“That doesn’t mean I want someone else’s tongue in my mouth.” I shuddered. “There was this one guy, it was just so sick. We’d barely held hands and all of a sudden he kissed me with his mouth wide open and his tongue going for my tonsils, and he was drooling and slobbering. Yick.”

“How old were you?”

“Fifteen. You think I was too young or something?”

“Or something. You just weren’t ready for him to intrude past your personal barriers like he did.” Sid shook his head. “There are a lot of men out there who forget that sexual activity is a physical invasion of a woman’s body. You have to respect that, and there are too many jerks out there who don’t.” [Jerk was not the term I used – SEH]

I flushed. “I’ll say. Is it my imagination, or is it really true that all men think about are sex and sports?”

Sid laughed. “You’re asking me that?”

“Yeah.” I was serious.

Sid glanced over at me, then studied the road. “In all honesty, I have to admit I do not spend most of my time thinking about sex, and I almost never think about sports. But a lot of the men I know are obsessed with getting their rocks off one way or another. A good many of them suppress it, which is where I think the sports thing comes in. At least that’s physical. Steve and Eric and Dave, you know, the guys from the gym? They are not into messing around like I am. Eric and Dave are as faithful to their wives as they come. Steve’s too much of a romantic. But they’re all hung up on sex, and I really think it’s because of the prudish nature of our culture. They repress their sexuality and as a result, they see sex in everything.”

“I repress and I don’t see sex in everything.”

“You’re also not a man, and a large part of how manhood is defined is by the ability to perform. A woman’s femininity is defined by fertility, which may be why women nurture.” Sid smiled at me. “And you may say no, but you don’t repress your sexuality that much. If you did, you wouldn’t admit to ever having been horny or enjoying necking, and yet you do. You may deny yourself the pleasure, but you don’t pretend you’re not interested.”

“What good would that do? It’s going to come out one way or another. It’s like being angry, in a way. And I am curious. It’s like the French kissing thing. I mean I never understood it as an intrusion issue until you said so. I just thought it was over-rated, and I couldn’t figure that out. There are a lot of things that are supposed to be sexy that I can’t figure out.”

“Like what else?”

“Like bucket seats. How could they be sexy with that gear shift between you?”

Sid’s eyes twinkled. “Who says it has to be between you?”

“You mean two people in one seat?”

“Mm-hm.” Sid’s grin was knowledgeably smug and a little reminiscent.

“Well, I suppose if it reclines.”

“Even if it doesn’t.”

“You mean you can still…you know..?”


“That’s physically impossible. Oh, geez. this is embarrassing.” My face was almost purple.

Sid laughed. “Will it embarrass you too much if I tell you how it’s done?”

“Probably. But I’m dying to know.”

“Your problem, Lisa, is that you’re limiting yourself to one position. There’s no law that says you have to be lying down, face to face.”

“I guess not, but…” My voice trailed off in confusion.

Sid laughed, again.

“The girl sits on the guy’s lap,” he said, gently.

“Oh. But where do her legs go?”

“It depends on whether or not they’re facing. Generally, the legs go where there’s room.”

“I take it you know from experience.”

“Oh, yes. I remember this one girl I knew, her dad had one of those little two-seater T-birds. He’d drive to work during the day and she’d have it at night. We used to drive up to Mount Diablo. It put a lot of miles on the car, but her dad figured if we were driving so much, we couldn’t be doing much else. Boy, was he wrong. On warm nights, I’d bring a blanket and we’d make love under the stars.” He sighed and then looked at me. “Maybe we’d better change the subject. You look like you’re about to crawl under the seat.”

I shrugged. “You want some more orange?”

We got to the entrance of Yellowstone National Park around two p.m. After paying the entrance fee, we pulled over to look at tourist brochures we’d been given and figure out where we were going to stay and what we were going to do. Sid chose Old Faithful Inn simply because that was the closest to where we were. It took us almost another hour to get there because the roads were so twisted and narrow we couldn’t drive all that fast. I further delayed us when I saw a small herd of elk and made Sid stop so I could take pictures. He just smiled and said I played the tourist role very well.

While we were checking in to the hotel, I noticed on the sign board that Old Faithful was about to blow.

“Come on,” I said, pulling on Sid’s elbow. “Let’s go see it.”

“I’d rather get settled first.” Sid put his charge card back in his wallet.

“But you know how one thing leads to another. I don’t want to take a chance on missing it.”

“I seriously doubt we will. There is a reason they call it Old Faithful.”

“Please?” I blinked twice.

He weakened. “But what about our luggage?”

“I can have the bellhop take it up for you while you’re watching Old Faithful,” said the desk clerk. “You can call for the key here when you’re ready.”

“Great,” I said excitedly and grabbed Sid’s hand. “We will.”

Sid refused to be dragged, insisting instead on holding me back. His pace was maddeningly slow. Still, we joined the crowd surrounding the geyser in plenty of time.

By the time Old Faithful finished blowing, it was getting close to three fifteen. Sid made the check in call, then we got settled into our room. I suggested an early dinner. Sid wasn’t all that hungry after nibbling all day in the car but agreed amiably. He didn’t eat much. I did. We ate in the hotel dining room, relaxing and taking our time. It was five fifteen when we walked back into the lobby. I noticed that Old Faithful was due to blow and tried to talk Sid into watching.

“Why do you want to see it again?” he asked, chuckling.

“Why not? It’ll be fun.”

But as I looked outside the windows, I noticed the crowds walking away from the geyser.

“She blew early,” I heard someone remark.

“Too bad,” replied Sid.

I continued gazing at the people heading our way when suddenly my heart froze.

“Oh no,” I gasped.

“What’s the matter?” Sid asked in a low voice, sensing my urgency.

“My parents.”


“They’re here.”

I pointed to where Mama and Daddy were in the crowd. They were with another couple that was vaguely familiar to me. It had to be the Shakespeares.

“What the hell are they doing here?” Sid growled in shock.

“Mama said they were coming. It’s part of some timeshare thing Daddy’s thinking about getting into. But Mama said they were coming next month.”

“Have you talked to them since Washington?”


“Then you talked them in May,” Sid snarled. “This is June. It’s next month.”

“Oh, help. What are we going to do?”

“Good question.”

“Maybe we ought to just brazen it out.”

“Do you want to try to explain to your father why we are sharing a room and wearing wedding bands and using phony names?”

I paled. “Are you kidding? He’d tear you apart in no time. Oh my god, they’re coming in here.”

Sid noticed an open stairway on one end of the huge room. It led to two lofts, one above the other, overlooking the lobby. We scrambled up to the uppermost loft. Just as we reached it, I looked down and saw my parents and their friends entering the lobby.

“Stay away from the edge,” Sid hissed.

He pulled me back into the shadows of the dimly lit loft. I looked around. Scattered about were well-cushioned love seats and chairs.

“Damn,” Sid growled. “They’re coming up here.”

“We’re trapped.” Then a ray of hope dawned. “Maybe they won’t come all the way up.  Mama can’t stand heights.”

“But what are we going to do if they come up here?”

“What are you asking me for? You’re the boss.”

“Real cute. We’d better ditch these rings just in case. Damn, I’ve never had a cover blown before.”

“Wait a minute. It may not be blown.” An idea congealed as I gazed about the loft.


“Now this is going to sound like a B-rate movie, but…”

“We don’t have time for lengthy explanations.”

“Would you be able to recognize that couple over there if you saw them again?” I pointed to a dark corner, where two young people were necking.

“You know, I think you’ve got something.”

“And most people wouldn’t look that closely. It’d be too embarrassing.”

“Hell, I don’t even look.” He stopped and looked at me, concerned. “You don’t mind, do you?”

I swallowed. “As long as it’s perfectly clear that it’s strictly in the line of duty.”

“Of course. Uh oh, they’re coming up.”

Sid and I made for the nearest dark corner.

“Let’s see, my back isn’t as familiar as yours, so you sit here.” He sat me down facing the stairway and sat down, next to me and turned.

“You can put your hands on my face to help hide it,” I said nervously. “And I’ll put my arms around your neck to help hide your face.”

“Good idea.” And we positioned ourselves accordingly.

I looked at him.

“You won’t get any ideas, now?” I asked.


“And you won’t get carried away?”

“Strictly business, I promise.” He glanced over his shoulder quickly. “Here they come.”

He moved in. It was strictly business, too. Thinking about it later, I got very disgusted with myself. I had always wanted to do a little necking with Sid, although I never told him. I was too afraid of what it would lead to. But there I was, necking with Sid, with a virtual guarantee that nothing would come of it and do you think I took advantage of it? No. I was too busy trying to follow my parent’s movements. I strained to catch every sound I could. I peeked through half-closed eyelids.

“Now, Bill, you stay away from that edge,” I heard Mama drawl.

“Althea, there’s a good strong railing here,” Daddy replied. “I ain’t gonna fall.”

“Then don’t lean over it and don’t tell me not to worry. You know how I am about edges. And heights, too. I don’t see why we had to come up here.”

“It’s a nice view.” I assumed that was Bill Shakespeare.

“These men are so thoughtless,” said Dottie, Mr. Shakespeare’s wife. “Come on, Althea, we’ll wait for them downstairs.”

“Well, we’ll come down with you,” Daddy drawled. “This place is worse than a drive-in movie.”

“Now, Bill,” Dottie laughed. “Don’t Althea and you want to join them?”

“This here’s a public place.” Daddy didn’t sound in the least perturbed. “Althea and I don’t need to do that kind of stuff in public.”

“I wonder if he does it at all,” Sid muttered.

I took a chance and kicked him in the shin.

The voices trailed away. Sid carefully looked over his shoulder.

“Okay, they’re gone.” He pulled away.

“Low blow, boss,” I growled, still steaming.

“Alright, it was a tacky cut.” He stood up. “I apologize.”

“Apology accepted.” I let him help me up.

We cautiously went to the head of the stairs and watched them descend. It took forever. As they got to the main floor of the lobby, they headed for the door. We took a chance and went down the stairs, just far enough to keep them in view. We came all the way down when they got into a car and drove off.

“Whew,” I sighed in relief. “Oh, be calm my beating heart.”

“That was too close.”

“Well, we’re safe.”

“For how long?” Sid headed for the desk and I followed.

“It’s a big park.”

“Well, I’m not taking any chances. We’re going to our room now and staying there unless it’s absolutely necessary to go out.”

“Terrific.” I sulked.

The room was small. The bathroom had only a sink, toilet, and cramped shower stall. About the only thing the room had going for it was the pair of twin beds. Sid wasn’t very thrilled about sleeping in a twin-size, but he had to admit it was better than the floor.

“Shades of New Orleans,” I grumbled. “We’re gonna go nuts.”

“They’re your parents.”

“It’s not my fault.” I sat sulking on one of the beds.

Sid gazed at me with a strange look on his face.

“What are you looking at?” I asked, grumpily.

“You. I’m trying to analyze what happened while we were necking.”


“Are you sure?” His tone was not challenging, more like he wanted to know.

I thought for a moment. “Yes. Nothing happened. I was too busy trying to keep track of my folks.”

“Same here. In fact, I’m afraid I shortchanged you. I could have made a better effort.”

“Well, it’s alright by me that you didn’t.”

“We’d better file that little trick for future reference. It might come in handy again.”

I shrugged. Gloomily, I found myself gazing at the phone. Then I got an idea.

“I’ll call Mae,” I said, reaching for the phone. “She’ll know when they’re going to leave.”

“Not from that phone,” interrupted Sid. “It’s too easy to trace.”

“Well, we’ve got to do something. We can’t just stay here. The hotel staff’ll notice and I know they’ll talk.”

“They’ll just have to.”

“Sid, Yellowstone is not the sort of place where people stay in their rooms, and it was blatantly obvious, we aren’t honeymooners.”

“I know. But the whole park isn’t even open yet. That increases the odds of our running into them again.”

“But I have to make that drop, and there’s check in.”

“Alright, I’ll go. They won’t recognize me as easily.”

“Try again. Mama’d spot you just as easily as she would me.”

“What do you mean?”

“Those lovely distinctive features of yours. On top of that, Mama says you’re a dead ringer for some old boyfriend of hers.”

“She’s never said anything to me about that.”

“And she never will. In fact, I wasn’t even supposed to tell you.” I mimicked my mother. “‘Tisn’t nice.”


“Any relation to you would be probably on the wrong side of the blankets.”

“Big deal.”

“To Mama it is. She didn’t want to cause trouble. I didn’t have the nerve to tell her you were born on the wrong side of the blankets and never really cared. She did tell me the name of the gentleman in question. A John something. Caponetti.”

“Hoping to track down my erstwhile father, I presume?” Sid smiled gently and shook his head. “It won’t do any good. I got all my distinctive features from my mother.”

“How do you know?”

“Because Stella and I look almost exactly alike, and I do have a photograph of my mother somewhere. When we get home, I’ll dig it up for you.”

“Oh, and your baby pictures too.” I smiled happily, somehow forgetting our current dilemma.

Sid shook his head. “I have no baby pictures. We were too broke for a camera and Stella didn’t care, anyway. I may have one of my senior pictures around and I’ve got my high school yearbooks. But that’s about it. Something about being in the spy business made me rather camera shy after that.”

“Wow. That’s weird. You should see all the pictures of us that Mama has.”

“Which is very nice, I’m sure. But speaking of your mother…”

“What are we going to do about that?” I looked at Sid hopefully.

He shrugged.

“Play a lot of cards,” he said.

Later, as I was getting my nightgown and robe from my suitcase, I noticed a tuft of blonde hair sticking out of a pocket. I checked to see if Sid was looking. He was absorbed in a hand of solitaire. Smiling, I pulled the wig out and slipped it between the folds of my robe.

Before I left the bathroom, I put the wig on.

“It’s all yours,” I said, coming out.

“Thanks.” Sid glanced up at me, then dropped the cards he was holding and stared, squinting.

“You’re not going to laugh, are you?” I asked feeling very foolish.

“No.” He stood, and looked at me more closely. “I think you’ve found the solution to our problem.” He paused. “I am a little worried, though. Is that really going to get you past your parents? Keep in mind, your face is particularly familiar to them.”

“Well, I also have a pair of those indoor/outdoor sunglasses and I have some tricks I can do with my makeup. I have to cover up my eye, anyway.”

“That might just do the trick.”

“Now, if there was just something for you.” I pulled off the wig and laid it on top of my suitcase. “How long would it take you to grow a beard?”

“We’ll be out of here by the time it was grown enough.”

“How about glasses?”

“Well, I do have a pair, but A- I seriously doubt they’d be that effective as a disguise and B- I can’t see out of them anyway.”

“Why not?”

“I think it’s because I’ve been wearing contact lenses exclusively for so long. You have to focus differently with glasses and my eyes just won’t anymore.”

“It sounds to me like a bad prescription.”

Sid shrugged. “Who cares? I never wear the things anyway. I hate how I look in them.”

“I’ll bet they’re not that bad.”

“That is irrelevant. I don’t like how I look and that is enough.”

“Could you put them on for me?”


“I want to see how you look in them.”


“Because I’m curious.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“Come on, Sid, please.”

Sid shook his head and rolled his eyes skyward, but he walked over to his suitcase.

“For crying out loud.” He pulled out a simple brown eyeglass case. He slipped out the glasses and put them on. The frames were dark but very stylish. “Are you satisfied?”

“I like them. They make you look very intellectual. You really look good.”

Disgusted, Sid pulled them off his face, jammed them back into the case and put the case back where it belonged.

“Sorry, it won’t work. I still won’t wear them, unless absolutely necessary.”

“Doesn’t it feel funny when you put them on with your contacts?”

“I took my lenses out while you were in the bathroom. My eyes were getting sore.”

I got into bed as Sid came over to his bed and picked up the cards he’d dropped. I watched him fondly. He neatly put the deck in its box and then, looking up, somehow caught me gazing at him. We looked at each other for a long moment, then he smiled warmly and headed for the bathroom.

I had the weirdest dream that night. I was walking down an aisle that split in the middle. One aisle led to an altar with a priest waiting and another man, my groom. The other aisle led to a platform with a group of people in caps and gowns sitting on it, my PH.D. Then out of nowhere Rory Sheidler and George Hernandez came up and took me to a park. There they each took turns kissing me. But then Sid came up and they stepped aside. Sid held me and began kissing me also, albeit more passionately. Then all three men ran away and Daddy was chasing them. I tried to hide, but I couldn’t. Daddy started after me. I ran as fast as I could, but it was in slow motion. I looked back and it wasn’t Daddy chasing me but an army of strange, shadowy men, all with guns. I ran even harder, but couldn’t go any faster. I ran and ran.

I woke up. My legs twitched. I sat up in bed and looked around the dark room. Sid was babbling away in his sleep. He’d been doing that the whole trip, talking in sleep, that is. I’d never said anything to him about it. But I was beginning to wonder if it had something to do with why only a few of his girlfriends stayed the night. I was having enough trouble sleeping through it and I wasn’t even in the same bed.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. Sid rolled over and began chuckling.

“Come on, come on, come on,” I heard him mutter. He sighed happily. “Oh, Lisa.”

I looked at him shocked. Then I realized I’d been dreaming about him. I felt my face growing hot. He snorted and rolled over again, remaining silent. I laid back down again. Surprisingly, I fell asleep almost immediately.

If Sid had been somewhat skeptical about the wig Monday night, Tuesday afternoon he was even more so.

“Having them catch us would be bad enough,” he said, about mid-morning. “If they catch you in some crazy disguise, it’ll really be awkward.”

“It fooled you at first.”

“But A- I didn’t have my contacts in and B- I wasn’t expecting it.”

“Well, neither are my folks. They don’t know I’m here. Why should they look twice at a blonde with glasses and heavy makeup? Besides, I know some contouring tricks that’ll make my face look different.”

“Where did you learn that?”

“High school drama classes. I was the main make-up person.”

“Well, I suppose. I still don’t trust disguises. It’s too hard to get out of trouble if you’re caught.”

“I won’t get caught, then.” I pulled out my makeup case.

Sid picked up his pen and folder from the nightstand.

“Well, the drop’s not till tonight,” he said, watching me start to apply my make-up with a disapproving eye.

“We’ve got check in coming up, and I’m going to call Mae.”

“I don’t know if you should call her at all.”

“Sid, I’ve been gone almost three weeks. She’ll be worried if I don’t call soon, and she’ll probably start asking questions, too.”

“Alright. Do what you want.” Sid sounded perturbed.

“Sid, are you alright?” I asked. “You’re not getting horny already are you?”

“Oh, no.” He looked at me. “I’m just feeling a little like a caged animal, I guess.”

“My sympathies. I know how it feels.”

Sid just shook his head and returned to his work.

The check in call was pretty standard. I hung up and called my sister.

“Hello?” Mae did sound rather distant.

“Hi, Big Sis, it’s me.”

“Lisa. It’s about time. How are you?”

“Oh, fine. How’s it going with you?”

“Really good. Of course, Darby and Janey are a little wired ‘cause school’s almost out and the others are picking up on it. But they haven’t torn down the house yet. I figure if I can just hang on for the next three months, I’ll have Ellen in kindergarten and just the twins to deal with.”

“Ellen’s in kindergarten already? It just doesn’t seem like it’s been that long since you first brought her home from the hospital.”

“I was thinking the same thing last week when I registered her. Still, she doesn’t start ‘till September. I’m beginning to think it’s going to be a long summer.”


Mae laughed. “Just my active, healthy children. Yesterday morning I left the twins playing in the backyard while I was cleaning up after breakfast. There’s nothing back there for them to get into trouble with. So, naturally, they couldn’t stay there.”

“Naturally. But I thought you kept the gate latched.”

“I do. I don’t know how, but they unlatched it. Anyway, I got this phone call from Carol Lester, they’re down at the end of the block and she’s having fits because Mitch is down there teasing Roddy’s whippets. I went running down there to get him, wondering where Marty had gotten off to. The little rascal, he was digging up the Lesters’ flower bed looking for buried treasure.”

“Oh, no.” I was laughing.

“For once there wasn’t too much damage, thank heavens. Carol was having kittens over the whippets as it was. They baby them too much, if you ask me. It’s no wonder they’re so high strung, and they’re so skinny, too. Ugly dogs.”

“They’re built for racing.”

“Whatever. Anyway, when I got the boys back to the house, there was Ellen in the middle of a mess, as usual. This time she’d decided she wanted a drink of grape juice and had spilled the whole pitcherful all over the kitchen floor. When I got back, she was dropping slices of bread into the juice because she said they soaked it up just like paper towels.”

“You’re kidding.”

“I wish. She ruined over half a loaf. And before I could clean everything up, the twins got into it and the three of them tracked grape juice onto the family room carpet. I’m thanking God they didn’t go into the dining room. We’re having Jack Laird’s birthday party here Friday night. Granted, they’re all people from the church, but you know how it is.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“So, where have you been? I haven’t heard from you since before you went on that retreat.”

“I’ve just been really busy. But listen, the reason I called is that I’m wondering where Mama and Daddy are. They’re not in Florida or Tahoe. That’s not like them to leave Tahoe at this time of year.”

“Oh no, they’re in Yellowstone Park. I talked to them the other day. Remember Bill and Dottie Shakespeare? They had those three boys, one of them was kind of stuck on you?”

“Oh, them.” I groaned in disgust at the memory of those really awful boys. “What about them?”

“Well, Bill Shakespeare’s got some big timeshare investment. I don’t remember all of it, anyway, they brought Mama and Daddy out there to check it out.”

“Oh. So when are they going to be home?”

“They leave Yellowstone tomorrow morning. They’ve got to get back to Tahoe. Mama wants me to call her again on Wednesday when they’re more or less settled in.”

“I might call then too. But don’t tell them that. I don’t know if I’ll get a chance to. Look, I’ve gotta run. Give my love to the kids. Bye.”

I hung up fast before Mae could ask any questions. I turned and looked around the big, echoing foyer I was in. A second later, my father appeared from one of the hallways. He seemed to be looking for something. When he saw me, he looked at me for a moment puzzled. He looked down the other hall, then back at me. Shaking his head, he withdrew.

I found out later, he’d heard the last couple of sentences of my phone call, had recognized my voice and come looking for me. He was surprised to find nobody but a “blonde tart”. Mama insists it was his imagination, especially after what happened that night, when I went to make the drop.

My contact was Daniel Pusnell, six three, blonde hair, green eyes, football player figure. He’d been with Quickline since its inception in the 1960’s and was considered the cleanest of everybody in the suspect tree. His cover was as director of concession sales, and he lived in a small cabin just outside of the National Park.

I didn’t see him, or anyone else worth noting when I first walked into the bar at the Mammoth Hot Springs Hotel. I sat down at the bar and ordered a ginger ale. About twenty minutes later, Pusnell stepped up to me and asked me what I was drinking.

“Swamp water,” I replied, smiling coolly.

“I’ve been looking for someone drinking that.” He smiled.

I furtively slipped my hand into my purse and handed him the envelope.

“Now do me a favor and make tracks,” I said.

“Sure thing. You might consider doing the same thing. That tall guy over at the table near the moose head has been staring at you since you walked in.”

“Thanks. I’ll watch out for him.”

Pusnell returned to his friends, smiling and shaking his head. They laughed rather crudely. Slowly I turned to see who was staring at me. It was my father.

He was sitting with Mr. Shakespeare. They’d been friends in Tahoe, which is kind of surprising because Bill is loud and rowdy and a little radical and Daddy doesn’t usually like that type. What drew them together is that they’re both named after old English playwrights. Bill Shakespeare has the worst time of it, though. Very few people have heard of the Restoration playwright, William Wycherly.

I wasn’t sure if Daddy recognized me. I didn’t think so. But he was trying to. I knew I had to throw him off. I tried to think of the last thing I, as myself, would ever do. Hanging around Sid had certainly rubbed off on me. I put on what I thought was a sexy smile and blew a kiss at my father.

His brow wrinkled and he glared at me. I smiled again and ran my tongue along my teeth. That did it. He stopped staring.  With a very affected sigh, I left the bar. When I got back to the car, I sat behind the wheel for five minutes before I could stop shaking enough to drive.

Sid laughed when I told him what happened.

“You came on to your father?” he gasped. “I don’t believe it.”

“That was the point,” I snapped. “It was the last thing I’d ever do.”

“That is priceless.” Sid sank onto his bed chuckling helplessly. “I wish I could have seen it, oh, I wish.”

“Well, it was pretty scary when it was happening.”

“I can imagine. But to see you come on to anybody, and on top of that, your father. I wish I could have seen his face. It must have been something else.”

As I thought about it, it had been. In spite of my irritation, I found myself giggling. Sid looked at me and we both burst out laughing. I hurried into the bathroom to take off my makeup and get ready for bed.

As I came out, I saw Sid sitting on the edge of his bed, dealing out a hand of solitaire onto mine. He was smiling to himself in a way that made him look particularly handsome. My camera was close at hand. I picked it up, grabbed the flash unit and retreated into the bathroom, so he wouldn’t hear the faint whine of the strobe warming up. After slipping the flash unit in place, I set the shutter speed.

“I thought you were finished,” I heard Sid call.

“I forgot something.” I hoped he hadn’t moved.

Fortunately, he hadn’t. I focused quickly.



In a brief second, he looked up and I released the shutter. A second later he was recoiling and blinking from the flash.

“What did you do that for?” he groaned.

“I just realized I didn’t have any pictures of you.”

“It’s just as well.”

“No, it isn’t. I’d like to have a picture of you.”

“There aren’t any of you.”

“I’m taking them all.”

“Then hand over that camera.”


Sid came over to me. “Why not?”

“I don’t like having my picture taken.”

“Neither do I. Give me the camera.”

“Not now.” Switching off the strobe, I walked away from him over to my suitcase. “I just washed my face and it’s all blotchy, and my hair’s dirty, and I’m in my nightclothes.”

“Will you let me tomorrow?”


“Why not?”

“I don’t photograph well. Really, I don’t. I guess I just don’t have that much to work with.”

“Are you still bugged about that stupid woman yesterday?”

“No. I hadn’t even thought about that.” But suddenly, remembering the incident brought tears to my eyes. “But maybe I am. No. It’s not that so much as… Well, Sid, I guess what hurt so badly was that, well, all my life I’ve been good looking, but not really pretty. I’ve been smart, but no genius. I tell you, being in the bottom half of the top ten percent is really the pits. I hate second place. I’m sick of it. At the end of my junior year in high school, I ran for senior class president. We had a run-off between me and this other guy. It was close, but he won. I just barely missed getting on the pep squad. I almost got into Chamber Singers. The only reason I got to play Annie Oakley in Annie Get Your Gun my senior year was because the other girl who’d been cast broke her leg skiing two weeks before dress rehearsals. I didn’t even get my name in the program ‘cause they’d already been sent to the printer. In college, I almost got the department scholarship. My thesis was almost published. Darn it, Sid, I know I’m pretty. I’m just not pretty enough. I know I’m smart, just not smart enough. I’m good. I’m just not good enough.” I sank down onto the bed sobbing.

Sid sat down next to me and put his hand on my back.

“Lisa,” he said, softly. “You’re good enough for me.”

“Am I?”

“Yes.” He reached over to my suitcase, pulled out a small travel packet of tissues and handed it to me. “We all have our moments of self-doubt. But don’t give in to it. You are beautiful. You are intelligent. You’re extremely competent. Based solely on the work you do with the business and with my writing, you are invaluable to me. As a friend, well, you’re the only person who’s ever broken through.”

I sniffed and wiped away my tears. “Thanks, Sid. I just wish I had more of your self-confidence.”

“You do?” He smiled gently, then looked away. “That’s funny. You know, there’s a reason I don’t like having my picture taken, and it has nothing to do with the spy business.”

“Oh, you don’t think you’re…”

“Not always.” He looked at me. “Heaven knows I hear otherwise often enough. But I’m not convinced. I guess I have my moments too.” He paused and looked away again. “There are days when I wonder if I really am that good looking, that good of a writer or spy, if I’m really that good in bed.”

I couldn’t reply. I knew how much it had cost him to say what he had. Wordlessly, I put my arms around him and laid my head on his shoulder. He slipped his arm closest to me around my waist and with his other hand, stroked my cheek. Gently, he rubbed his cheek across my hair. I felt his gentle kiss on the top of my head. His hand slid to my chin. He lifted it and my head to face him.

“I’d better get ready for bed,” he said, quietly.

I released him. Sorrowfully, he got up. He paused for a moment, then shook his head and went to get ready for bed. Frustrated, for some reason, I grabbed my book of Victorian poets and turned to Tintern Abbey. I flopped face down on my bed, yawned, and began to read. I heard the shower going in the bathroom.

I was barely a third of the way through the poem when I began to nod off. Soon, it was impossible for me to keep my eyes open, or to make sense of what I was reading. Strange images filled my head; of the abbey, the grassy fields, cliffs, and Sid in Dickensonian dress.

I was only dimly aware of the book being removed from my hands, of being lifted by strong, gentle arms and set down again. I curled up comfortably. The hands returned again, this time deftly removing my robe. I was lifted again. I snuggled in. My forehead and my cheek rested against flesh. It was warm and smooth. I was laid back down again and the blankets were pulled gently over me. A hand tenderly removed the hair from my face and brushed against my cheek. Then his lips caressed mine, tenderly, gently, warmly. They were soft and I reached for more.

I opened my eyes and found myself looking into his beautiful blue eyes as he pulled away.

“I’m sorry,” he said, very softly. “I didn’t mean to wake you. But you looked so lovely.”

I reached out and touched his cheek. My fingers brushed over the beard that was just barely starting to come in, to the softness just above it.

“You are beautiful,” I replied. His hand covered mine and pulled it down to his lips. Gently, he kissed the backs of my fingers. “Maybe a little too beautiful,” I continued. “For my own good. Goodnight, Sid.”

He kissed my fingers one more time before releasing them.

“Don’t worry.” He smiled gently. “Not without your permission. Goodnight, Lisa.”

I rolled over, perilously close to saying yes. Later that night I dreamed I had. I don’t remember much of the dream, just his warm, gentle kisses.

[And all I could think of that night was how wonderful it felt just to hold you next to me. It’s funny, for all you said you were on the brink of giving in, I knew you were nowhere near ready, and I couldn’t understand why, but it didn’t bother me. Many other times that trip, I felt frustrated and fearful that we would not have our consumation, but not then – SEH]