Welcome to book fifteen in the Operation Quickline series. Christmas may be Lisa Wycherly’s favorite time of the year, but then Sid’s shocking encounter with an old friend gets them embroiled in one messy case. With Lisa’s nephew spiraling out of control, it’s looking like a not-so-merry holiday. You can read the latest chapter here, and follow the whole series here.
Sid’s Voice
It is amazing what a good night’s sleep will do for your perspective. Lisa still grumbled about getting up to go running. She always does. But I felt I had a handle on my life again.
Darby was less enthused. He wasn’t angry. Just… Upset, I guess. As we came back from our run, he held me back before we went inside the house.
“Uncle Sid, can we talk?” he asked.
“Sure, but now?”
He winced. “Maybe after breakfast? I know I’ve got to go to school, but…”
That he was asking was enough for me at that point. And there was something in his eyes.
“I’ll write you a note excusing you,” I said. “Just, please, be on time for breakfast, and ready to go.”
“Yes, sir.”
He ran into the house. It was my turn for the first shower, and Lisa was already in the kitchen. I could hear Mama talking to her, but not what she said, as I went upstairs.
Breakfast was relatively quiet. It always is. Lisa and Nick are not morning people, and I respect that. Besides, it’s nice to be able to read the newspaper in peace, speaking only to share the different sections. Nick didn’t question it when I told him to drive himself to school. Mama looked like she was about to, but I shook my head.
I sent Darby to the office and asked if Lisa needed anything out of there right away.
“No. What’s going on?” she asked.
“I’ll tell you when I know,” I said.
In the office, Darby sat on the couch, staring at the floor. I would have sat down next to him, but even five years after the molestation, he was still a little awkward about me touching him. So, I avoided it and sat down in my desk chair.
Darby swallowed. “Aunt Lisa got mad at me because I’m sleeping around.”
“She told me.”
“I kinda dumped on her about you and her not waiting for the wedding.” He looked at me. “She said you did.”
“Well, in terms of traditional full intercourse, yeah, we did. She say why?”
Darby nodded.
“You understand that’s why I’m worried about you sleeping around.” But even as I said it, I wondered how honest I was being. “It is seriously dangerous in a way that wasn’t when I was your age.”
“I get that.” Darby shrugged. “I mean, I’m using condoms, okay?”
“That’s good. However, you know they are not foolproof. I was using one when Nick was conceived.”
Darby laughed. He knew that story. Then his eyes filled, and he blinked it away.
“Okay,” I said. “Maybe I’m also a little worried that you’re not happy about your sex life right now.”
“It’s okay.” Darby swallowed and blinked again. “It’s not that. Or maybe it is. I don’t know. I mean, it’s fun, but it’s not all that great.” He took a couple of deep breaths. “Uncle Sid, I’m still scared of it. I mean, that’s why I did it. I don’t want to be scared of sex. And you and Dad keep saying the best way to deal with your fears is to face them head-on.”
I sighed. “That can also mean just talking about it, you know.”
“I guess.” He frowned. “Crispin says that I’ll be able to get any girl I want.”
I couldn’t help chuckling. “That is and isn’t true. Darby, I suspect that with time, you’ll be a pretty decent lover. But even if you aren’t, there will always be girls and women who won’t mind about that because they got a piece of you. And I don’t care how good a lover you become, there will always be some women, some of them very desirable, who will never sleep with you. That I got your aunt to eventually sleep with me? Well, you know what I gave up. Happily, I might add. She wasn’t going to take me any other way. But the thing is, getting sex is easy. Being in love isn’t, and being in love is what makes the sex really good. So if you’re still scared, it may be because the real love isn’t there.”
Darby’s brows knitted together. “You think so?”
I frowned. “Yeah. I do. I might not have before, but I do now. I am crazy in love with your aunt. It makes a huge difference.”
“I’m not really hurting anybody.”
“That used to be my justification. But I have since found out that, yeah, I did hurt quite a few women, some of whom were good friends. I also hurt your Aunt Lisa. And as your mother once told me, I hurt myself by cheating myself out of a full, rich relationship with your aunt because I was too busy giving bits of myself away to every woman that came along.”
Darby nodded, then sighed. “The funny thing is, Crispin thinks I should be sleeping around. That I deserve it.”
I tried not to laugh. “Crispin is telling you a lot of interesting things, isn’t he?”
“Yeah.” Darby winced. “But, Uncle Sid, I’m not a little kid anymore. I’ve got to figure out these things for myself. I mean, at some point, I have to stand on my own two feet and decide for myself. Right?”
“Absolutely.” I couldn’t help chuckling. “But that doesn’t mean you’re not going to fuck it up occasionally. Nor does it mean you’re being a little kid if you listen to the older and wiser shit and realize that, hey, maybe they’ve got something. Seriously. The only advantage I have on you right now is that I’ve been alive longer, and a lot of the shit you’re dealing with, I’ve already dealt with. Whether you and I come to the same truth at the end of the process, I don’t know. But I do know that when I pulled my head out of my ass long enough to listen to the older and wiser shit, I was usually better off.”
“But you didn’t have to think about touring and your career and all that.”
“No. You’re right. I didn’t. I had to worry about a war and getting drafted. I had to worry about what career I wanted. I’m not saying you and I have the exact same challenges. You wonder if you’re doing the right thing by listening to your parents. I worried about the same thing. I blew mine off and ended up in Vietnam.”
“Oh. Yeah.”
“Exactly.” I waited for a minute, then smiled at him. “You’re a good man, Darby. You’ve got a good head on your shoulders. The big difference between you and most kids your age is that you’ve got a lot of shit being thrown at you right now because of your talent that a lot of adults don’t deal with well. What you need to hold onto is that you’ve got a whole crew of people who love you. We’re the ones who don’t care about the quick score because we need the cash. We’re the ones who want to see you grow into a successful career and who don’t want to see you crash and burn because you tried to do too much too soon. You need to hang onto the people who love you, not the people who want to use you or need you to cover their asses. Sometimes it’s hard to tell who’s who. But the people who love you will tell you the truth, whether you want to hear it or not.”
“You know. That’s what Crispin says.”
My stomach turned, but I covered and shrugged. “Sometimes, even assholes get it right.”
“You don’t like him?” Darby looked at me.
“I don’t know him, so I don’t know. I don’t like how you’ve been reacting to him, though. You may be right, but you don’t seem happy, and that’s what bothers me.”
“Oh.” Darby looked at the floor again.
I could see him struggling with something, but did not want to press it. In the end, he chose not to tell me, and I had to honor that. Shit, I hate being honorable sometimes. I wrote Darby his note excusing him from being tardy. Mae already had Lisa and me set up at the school for that sort of thing. We’d set up Mae and Neil for similar for Nick, so that wasn’t any big deal.
I sent Darby off. Mama wanted to know what we’d talked about, but fortunately, the phone rang at that moment, and I was able to hold her off. It was Loser.
“Yeah. What do you want?” I asked him.
“I, eh, want to apologize for last night.”
“What?”
Loser coughed. “I didn’t mean to put you in the crosshairs again.”
“Oh, please. How could you not have expected people shooting? Especially after that last time.”
“Look, I’m going to tell you the truth. I was hired by one of the guys protecting Cobb to get the dirt on him and take him out.”
“I see. So, why are you telling me this, and why are you telling me now?”
“It’s a long story.”
I waited. “What are you looking for, Loser? Absolution? Fine. You’ve got it.”
His chuckle was deeply sardonic. “You know, that’s one thing I really like about Angelique and your wife. They keep calling me Louis.”
“I didn’t know you didn’t like being called L— your nickname.”
“I didn’t know any better until people started calling me by my real name.”
“Oh.” I sighed. “Then I guess I owe you an apology.”
“How the hell were you going to know? My mother fucking called me that.” He sighed. “Look, I just want you to know that things are going to back off for the time being. We have to lay low because of the holiday.”
“Very well.” I paused. “Are you coming to the party tomorrow? Stella would like to see you.”
Admittedly, I think Stella wanted to give him a piece of her mind, but she did want to see him.
“Yeah. I’ll swing by. Looking forward to it.”
Lisa’s Voice –
The incredibly annoying thing about this stage in my dissertation process was that I had to read. And read. And read some more. Don’t get me wrong. I adore reading. I even enjoy reading scholarly treatises on subjects I’m interested in. But doing it as a full-time job was insane. Ashton and Scoresby were beyond mind-numbing, yet there were those in my field who considered them the ultimate word. By Friday afternoon, my eyes were watering, and I was seriously looking for ways to debunk them. At least, I’d been able to buy the book and could mark it up at will.
The only thing that saved my backside was that my wonderful boy came running into the house from the garage.
“I’m in the library,” I called when he hollered that he was home.
Mama and Daddy were in the living room. Sid was in the office. Nick came to me.
“Hey, sweetie,” I said as he came in and hugged me. “What’s up?”
“Two weeks off from school.” Nick laughed. He looked at my book. “What’s that?”
“Ghastly stuff, but I have to read it.” I checked my watch. “At least, we’ll be heading to Pasadena in a few.”
“What’s up?”
“The big meeting with the nasty agent.” I looked at Nick. “Have you met this Crispin guy?”
Nick shook his head. “No. Darby won’t let me near him.”
“Hm. That speaks volumes.”
“I suppose.”
Darby had chosen to go to his home straight from school that day. Sid and I packed Nick, Mama, and Daddy into Sid’s Beemer and headed there just after four-thirty. Traffic was pretty nasty, but we got to the O’Malley house by quarter ’til six. Sy and Stella were just behind us. Mae had dinner ready. She told us that Crispin had been invited to dinner but had refused. I’m not sure how Darby had reacted to the news, but the rest of us knew that did not bode well.
Crispin showed up on time at eight o’clock. The thing that annoyed me was that his entire manner was as greasy as his gelled hair, which stood up all over the crown of his head. We gathered in the living room. Sy forbore asking questions, leaving that to Darby, Mae, and Neil. The younger children were upstairs, but I was willing to bet they were listening at the stairwell, except for Lissy, who was in bed at that point.
So, Mae and Neil asked. They asked about his client list. Crispin claimed it was confidential, which seemed a little odd since Roxanna Stein had been happy to let us know who she represented. They asked about the overbooking. Crispin said that he only wanted his clients to get as much exposure as possible and smiled at Mae and Neil rather condescendingly. Then they asked about the rumors of sexual abuse. Crispin smiled.
“Oh, please. There is so much jealousy in this business.” He rolled his eyes. “It’s no wonder that some of my less successful colleagues would want to libel me this way.”
“Libel or is it slander?” Mae pulled out some legal-sized papers. “They’re not the same thing. Either way, is it slander if there’s a court case against you?”
Well, Mae is a librarian, and if there’s one thing she knows, it’s research. And she’d clearly gone down to the court offices. Darby gulped but didn’t say anything. Crispin winced, then smiled.
“Anybody can sue. It’s proving it that’s the issue.”
“Funny thing is, when I called the New York city courts, they promised to send me at least two other cases,” said Mae.
Crispin laughed. “Again, it’s about proving it.”
Mae and I both looked at Darby. He was breathing heavily, but didn’t seem quite ready to give in.
“The thing is,” Crispin continued. “It doesn’t matter what you think. It’s what Darby thinks.”
“He can’t sign a contract,” said Neil. “He’s too young.”
“Not if he’s emancipated through the courts.” Crispin grinned. “And I’ve got the papers right here.”
Darby had the grace to look insanely guilty. Mae looked at Neil and swallowed, then looked at her son.
“Darby, do you really want this?”
Darby looked at all of us. “I need to stand on my own two feet.”
Crispin smiled. “Come on, Darby. Why don’t we finalize this outside?”
The two went out to the front drive. The rest of us waited. It took every bit of self-control I had not to sneak out and listen in. I looked at Sid. He was thinking the same thing.
“No!” Darby suddenly yelled. “Get away from me! Get the fuck away from me!”
“Shavings,” Mae sighed.
We heard the back gate open and slam closed. Then we waited.
And waited.
Finally, the back door opened. Darby walked into the living room. He swallowed and looked at Mae and Neil.
“I owe you guys an apology,” he said slowly, then looked at Sid, me, Mama, Daddy, Sy, and Stella. “I owe all of you an apology. I’ve been a real shit lately.”
“Darby,” Mama started, but Daddy squeezed her arm.
“I’m sorry,” Darby continued. “Everything just happened so fast. I didn’t want to be afraid anymore. You know, about sex and being a soloist, or not getting a career because I waited too long. I’m sorry.”
Mae went over to her son and pulled him into her arms.
“My darling, darling boy.” She kissed the side of his head. “I forgive you.”
“Come here, son.” Neil held his arms out from where he sat in the chair next to the couch. “I forgive you, too.”
Darby held his father for a minute, then slid down next to Mae on the couch.
“Darby,” Neil said. “You are supposed to be asking us what we thought and felt when we first saw you, right?”
“Yeah.”
“When I first saw you,” Neil continued. “The doctor was holding you upside down, and you were screaming, the umbilical cord still attached to your little tummy. And I was terrified. I was responsible for you and for your mother. And at the same time, I loved you so much. Just like I love your mother. And as time passed, that love only grew to include Janey and Ellen, Mitch and Marty, and Lissy. I loved you then, and I love you now. You are my precious son, in whom I am well pleased.”
Mae put her arm around Darby’s shoulders. “My sweet boy. That night you were born, I was exhausted and barely conscious. Then they put you in my arms, and I had to tell you your name, Darby William O’Malley. I wanted so much for you to know in those first minutes of your life who you were and how much I loved you. And I still love you, my darling boy. You are so talented, and I am so proud of you. But at the same time, it worries me. There are so many people out there who will think they love you but won’t know you or really care about you because they just want to be part of your talent. Or worse, pretend to love you because they want to exploit it. It’s going to be hard sometimes to tell the difference. That’s why I want you to know what real love is. And when it comes to sex, I don’t want you to be afraid of it. But when the love is real, I firmly believe you won’t be afraid. In fact, that’s how you’ll know it is real love.”
“I hope so,” Darby muttered. “I just feel like sh— I mean, not good right now.”
“Oh, honey,” said Mama. “That’s okay. That’s how you know you’re going to get better. Can you give me a hug?”
Darby pulled himself up off the couch and went over to where Mama stood and hugged her. Then he hugged Daddy. He hugged me next.
“I’m sorry I yelled at you last night, Aunt Lisa.”
“I forgive you, sweetheart.”
He hugged Nick next, then Stella, then he went up to Sid and hugged him. Sid’s eyes were wet. It was the first time Darby had touched Sid since Darby had been molested by the neighbor five years before. The poor kid hadn’t been able to touch any males except his father and younger brothers since then.
Finally, Darby went up to Sy. They’d had the same problem. But Darby hugged Sy hard.
“Are you okay?” Sy asked, holding him close.
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
Darby smiled. “Because I know you love me.”
Sy nodded. “Indeed, I do.”
Thank you for reading. For more information about the Operation Quickline series, click here.
Please check out the Fiction page for the latest on all my novels. Or look me up at your favorite independent bookstore. Mine is Vroman’s, in Pasadena, California.