Chapter Ten

September 24 – 25, 1983

 

My parents and Sid and I went to Murray’s funeral the next morning. I got pretty soundly razzed when I wouldn’t look at the body during the viewing. Daddy told us that Fletcher had thought I was an operative, and we all laughed. That night, Mary and Neff babysat the kids, while the six of us adults went to the casinos and gambled.

Sunday morning, I went to early mass, then Sid and I said our goodbyes and left. Mae and Neil were bringing Motley down for us because there wasn’t room for the dog in the 450SL.

“Aren’t we taking three-ninety-five back?” I asked as Sid turned the wrong way on the highway.

“Nope. We’re going to spend a few days in San Francisco first.”

“Oh. That’s nice. But why?”

“Well, we have a transponder to drop off.”

The metal briefcase was in Sid’s trunk and had been since we got home Friday night. I didn’t say anything because I could tell Sid wasn’t finished yet.

Rain drops splattered onto the windshield. Sid drove through them silently, then turned on the windshield wipers.

“You know the line ‘I’d give a thousand tomorrows for a single yesterday?'” he said finally.

“Yeah. ‘Holding Bobby’s body next to mine.'”

“Well, in a way, I got that yesterday a week ago last Thursday night. It was a beautiful night, Lisa. I have to admit, making love to someone as special as Della was, after all these years, and all I’ve lived through, it was very, very special. But…” He looked over at me, then at the road. “I guess, Lisa, I have a lot invested in you, too. When I consider the tomorrows we almost lost Friday night when Lehrer pulled that trigger.”

My heart skipped a beat at the memory. “I can’t tell you how glad I was to hear that click.”

“We don’t have a thousand tomorrows, Lisa. We can’t even count on a single one.”

“Nobody can, Sid.”

“But for us especially. Our lives are in constant peril from the work we do.”

“Perhaps. I guess in a way, the future is the ultimate deception. It doesn’t really exist, so how can we count on it?”

“That’s exactly my point. All we have is the now, and to trade a future that is not even real to relive the past is the ultimate folly.”

“Unless of course, you’re putting the demons of the past to rest. But in a sense, that’s not trading the future away. It’s making the future possible.”

Sid nodded. “And I think that’s why we’re going to San Francisco. We’ve got nothing to lose by it and everything to gain.”

“‘Nothing ain’t nothing but it’s free.” I grinned and sang. “‘Feeling good was easy, Lord, when Bobby sang the blues.'”

Sid reached over and squeezed my hand. “And feeling good is good enough for me.”

I laughed and squeezed back.

 

Anne Louise Bannon

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